Playing the Field

Warren Sapp is the New Emmitt Smith; Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

2008-10-28T07:46:00.001-04:00

Week 7 Standings

Witwicky (Fenella) 6-2-0
Dragonfire 6-2-0
Make Ya WannaHollas 4-4-0
Buff N Tuff (Andrea) 0-8-0

Andrea has decided that this year she is the Cincinnati Bengals/Detroit Lions of Fantasy Football.

Why the Guy who Snaps the Ball is so Important
Just like the Giants, Fenella’s undefeated season went kaput Monday night in Week 6, and then continued in week 7 with another loss (not necessarily at the hand of the G-men). Fortunately, the Giants redeemed themselves in week 8 with an exciting win at the slippery hands of the Pittsburgh Steelers and James Harrison (and Fenella regained her winning ways.)

NFC East Implodes on Self
Alas, it WAS too good to be true. The Redskins lost to the lowly St. Louis Rams in the final seconds, 19-17 in week 6. The Rams. AT HOME. THE RAMS! Either they were looking past them (and the Browns and Lions) for their next division foe or they’re not as good as we thought. Judging from the snoozefest/heartstopper (depending how you want to look at it) against the Browns and Lions, maybe it’s the latter. It’s like our offensive skill level is going backwards! Hopefully they’ll get their mojo back for the big MNF game against the Pittsburghers. At least the other NFC teams are losing too.

Speaking of, looks like bad times have fallen on America’s Team. Tony Romo broke his pinkie and is out for a month, Felix Jones tore his hamstring and is out for at least a month, and Adam “Pacman” Jones was suspended for at least a month for getting in a scuffle with his bodyguard. Hey, do you think his teammates will dismiss the whole incident and say, “That’s just Pacman being Pacman” like the Giants said about Plax and the BoSox said about Manny? That seems to be an acceptable excuse for athletes gone bad these days. What does that even mean?

Why Football Players take Ballet Lessons
So if you haven’t been keeping up with Dancing With the Stars, who knew a man as, uhhhh, pleasingly plump as Warren Sapp could be so light on his feet? Looks like he’s keeping the tradition that if you can play football, you sure as hell can ballroom dance!

World Series? More like Mini-Series!
Ahh, the Boston Red Sox. They should steal TNT’s motto “We Know Drama” for themselves. Seriously, how many times can they come back from the dead in an ALCS? Unfortunately (fortunately for you BoSox haters), the bats of the young upstart Tampa Bay Rays were just too much for them to handle. Just as well. We like the underdogs…and though it may not be the ratings extravaganza as a Dodgers/Manny – Red Sox World Series, we’re happy for the Phillies and the Rays! While we like the Rays as a team, but wethinks we might be rooting for the Phillies because they’re fans deserve it a little bit more. Rays fans discovered baseball about 3 weeks ago, Phillies fans have been waiting for almost 30 years! And it looks like the Phillies might be closer to a championship to than the Fish Fish Fish Fishy Fish Fish Fish. Unless the rain has its way.

Stay Tuned!!! The Second Edition of the Playing the Field Fantasy Boy Draft is coming soon!!!!

When did they stop being called the Tampa Bay "Devil" Rays?

2008-10-10T21:59:00.002-04:00

Sweet, Sweet, Fantasy
Witwicky (Fenella) 5-0-0
Dragonfire 3-2-0
Make Ya WannaHollas 2-3-0
Buff n Tuff (Andrea) 0-5-0

Fenella still has no idea what she’s doing and thinks her luck will run out at some point.

Better than Expected
Holy crap, the Redskins are 4-1! They beat Dallas AND Philly on the road! They came from behind to beat the Eagles and the ‘Boys. This is too good to be true. Our offense is looking better each game, Jason Campbell’s having his best season so far, Clinton Portis still rules, and our D is still good. We won’t get our hopes up too much – the season is a looong one – but…we’re 4-1!!!! Woohoo!!! Or, as Jim Zorn would say, “Hip Hip Hooray!”

We Be Illin’
Sadness. Will our Wiz ever be healthy?

Oregon quacks against the Trojans
USC beat Oregon 44-10 at the Coliseum this weekend. Order is restored.

The Misters of October
Hey, it’s the baseball postseason! Looks like Cubs fans will have to wait until next season to see if the curse is broken. That is, if they have any fans left next season. Meanwhile, Dodgers fans are trying to remember how to celebrate a postseason win. And they’ll continue to keep trying to remember, as the Phillies have taken the first two games of the National League Championship Series.

Boston’s back in the ALCS, this time against underdogs Tampa Bay Rays. We can’t really think of anything else to say about this series. Must be why Tropicana Field STILL has empty seats. No seriously, we’re watching Game 1 as we write this.

Who’s Laughing Now? Us!

Fantasy Football is Back!

2008-09-30T16:38:00.002-04:00

So we’re still newbies. There are still four people in the league. And we’re still having fun! The standings so far:

Witwicky (Fenella) 4-0-0
Dragonfire 3-1-0
Make Ya Wanna Hollas 1-3-0
Buff n Tuff (Andrea) 0-4-0

Hooray, our Redskins won another one! No wait, make that two! The first against the Arizona Cardinals, and the second against our arch-nemesis Dallas Cowboys. The offense looked MUCH better. Now if only their D, which is usually so strong, doesn’t give up points in the last two minutes and keeps us from having heart attacks. So we give the ‘Skins some credit…they’re hanging in there! The NFC East is a tough division and the ‘Skins are doing their part to keep it competitive. Let’s hope their winning ways extend all the way to January! Or at least, win more than they lose.

In a somewhat reversal of fortune from last season, last week the Miami Dolphins positively spanked the NE Patriots. The Pats must’ve spent their bye week nursing those bruised egos. So…who’s winning the AFC this year? Buffalo? Also in the AFC, Brett Favre and those throwback jerseys helped the New York Jets flutter all over the Arizona Cardinals 56-35.

What NBA Stars Are Doing in the Offseason
Too much time on your hands, boys? Who knew Steve Nash could dance?!

http://www.ibeatyou.com/competition/0775d8/best-movie-trailer-spoof/entry/afde0b/boomdizzle-and-me-stepbrothers-in-santa-monica

Speaking of time, looks like Baron Davis is enjoying his offseason a little TOO much and is paying the price with packing on the pounds. No need to fear, Jenny Craig to the rescue!

In other NBA news, our beloved Agent Zero underwent yet another knee surgery and is out until January! We’re totally bummed. We wish him a speedy recovery – we miss you already, Gil!

Good-bye Yankee Stadium!
(And Shea Stadium). And goodbye to both teams’ playoff hopes.
Is it October yet? Is it time to pay attention to baseball?

Trojans Lacking Beaver Fever
Oh Trojan Football. Why? Why?! WHY! You pummeled two of your opponents, one being a nationally ranked team that likes to choke on the big stage and the other a rebuilding team that was never that good in the first place. Pundits called you unstoppable and your fans thought the BCS Championship in January was a lock. Then you let all of that get to your heads and you lose to an unranked, mediocre-at-best football team in a weak conference (yes, the Pac-10 is a weak conference) with a running back no taller than the Playing the Field girls. What’s up with that? Do you really like playing in the Rose Bowl that much? Hopefully this weekend sees you back on track and throwing down at the Coliseum again!

Justice Has Been Served!
Sent: Mon 9/22/2008 10:02 AM
To: Sports Illustrated
Subject: Hot Clicks -- User Link
Submitted by andrea
Question: the ladies have spoken
“what a halfa** attempt to show hot guys. most of the pictures have chicks. what do i need that for? i AM one!”

*an actual response!

Andrea,
Please forgive me. I tried to make amends today. I redid the gallery and took out the chicks: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/extramustard/09/26/week4-games-as-fall-tv-shows/index.html
-- Jimmy

Working title

2008-09-17T10:26:00.002-04:00

1 and 1, not 1 and Done
After a shaky start, the Washington Redskins managed to squeeze out a 29-24 win in their home opener against the New Orleans Saints. The offense FINALLY got going in the fourth quarter, topped off with a magnificent 67-yd TD to Santana Moss. Forreals, our offense did good! If only they can start out with that kind of scoring, instead of wasting opportunities and leaving their D to do all the work. We have faith they can only get better….Right, Andrea?

Cue Cheesy Jingle Music
We think we just lowered our IQ’s several points by checking out this blog. Thanks a lot, Chris Cooley! I’m sure the Redskins Public Relations staff is THRILLED about your, um, overexposure.

Inside the Minds of Former ‘Skins Coaches
What’s Norv Turner really thinking? Poor Chargers. They lose in the last second to Carolina in week one and then lose a heartbreaker to the Broncos, courtesy of a botched call. Looks like he’s not the only former ‘Skins coach with troubles. Joe Gibbs Racing was caught cheating last month, Steven Spurrier’s South Carolina Gamecocks can’t quite get a win, and Marty Schottenheimer…where are you?

In other football news, the Dallas Cowboys beat Philly’s Eagles in a Monday Night Football shootout. We hate them both. And Matt Cassel led the New England Patriots to victory over Brett Favre and the Jets, 19-10. Tom who? Perhaps Brady’s returned to his original career….

O-H-I-NO!
This past Saturday’s “Clash at the Coliseum” wasn’t much of a clash, as the No.1 (Damn STRAIGHT) USC Trojans trounced the Ohio State Buckeyes 35-3. Once again, OSU showed everybody what they’re really made of on the big stage…which is…not much. And the Trojans, well, what more can you say? Mark Sanchez keeps throwing TDs, Joe McKnight keeps running them in, and the defense keeps forcing turnovers. More proof USC is still the football powerhouse in Los Angeles. (To end the football monopoly in LA, Mr. Neuheisel, your team can’t lose 59-0.)

The 12,000 Calorie Diet
Michael Phelps may have brought in the highest ratings for Saturday Night Live in years, but we think he still can’t compete with Peyton Manning and his family of comedic geniuses. Stick to the swimming!

Football 2008

2008-09-11T11:51:00.004-04:00

Dolphins Loss does Jets a Favre, we mean, Favor
Was it the skill of New York Jets head coach Eric Man-genius, or the improvisation of #4 himself? Nevertheless, Brett Favre began his J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS career with a 20-14 win over the Miami Dolphins. Poor Chad Pennington, can’t catch a break. You know that the both of us are excited about the Jets win (NOT). By the way, did you know that if you Google the phrase “I Hate Brett Favre,” you get over 220,000 results?! Seriously, try it!

Apparently, the GB faithful don’t miss Brett too much. One game into the new season, and they’ve already forgotten how to spell his name.

Matt Cassel: Always a Bridesmaid…
Tom Brady ended his season rather abruptly, tearing his ACL in the season opener against the Kansas City Chiefs. (That’s great, but who are the Chefs?) Matt Cassel, perennial back-up quarterback, will now finish out the season as the starting QB for the New England Patriots. Cassel, who hasn’t started a game since HIGH SCHOOL, will actually have to play for a change. Even his impressive stat page is focused on his high school accomplishments, including playing for the Little League World Series. Could Tom Brady be the new Drew Bledsoe, and could Matt Cassel be the new Tom Brady? Supermodels are keeping a close watch on him….

Matt may be the ultimate back-up, but when it comes to Backstreet Boys karaoke, as this YouTube clip clearly shows, he is KING. How did we not see this earlier?!?!

Possible Methods for Reviving the “Deadskins”
• Keeping the same style offense for more than two years (heaven forbid)
• Getting a new owner (any schemes on how to raise $500 million??)
• CPR
• Defibrulator
• Cosmetic Surgery
• Having Les Grossman at the helm
• These “Horny for Zorny” T-Shirts (yes, we’re ‘Skins fans but um…HELLZ NO)

Baseball? What’s that?
It’s almost the post-season. Then we’ll care about baseball!

Where they belong…After having the week off, USC still remains the #1-ranked team in college football. Really, it can’t be any other way. They’ll be challenged this week by a gimpy Chris "Beanie" Wells and Ohio State. Let’s hope Mark Sanchez and the Trojans keep their opening day form against the Buckeyes. Fight On!

Fight On to Victory!

2008-09-02T14:30:00.003-04:00

The Playing the Field girls made the trek down to Charlottesville to watch Fenella’s alum USC kick the crap out of UVA “Wahoos.” Question of the day from the SC contingent: “What the hell is a Wahoo? What’s a Hoo?” Our favorite answer: “It’s short for Hoo-ters.”

So it was scorching hot, Andrea got sun-poisoning, and we were going to shoot ourselves the next time the announcer said “Move the chains, it’s another Cavalier….FIRST DOWN!” (Why is there the need to do that? We were lucky that UVA only had seven first downs the entire game.) All that aside, it was great to have a little piece of SoCal come out to VA in what was Andrea’s very first college football game ever! And it’s always fun to watch the Trojans play :)

***

Are you bored now that Michael Phelps -- we mean, the Olympics are over? Well, fear not, dear friends: the end of boredom is near! College football is well underway (see above) and the NFL kicks off on Thursday, when our beloved Redskins take on the Super Bowl Champs New York Football Giants. In the meantime, the comedic geniuses of the Manning family have some suggestions on what to do until then. Enjoy :)

For SHAME!

2008-03-19T15:00:00.003-04:00

Fenella: i hate it when guys try to talk to me at bars during the game
can't they clearly tell i'm not there to meet boys but to watch the game?!!!!!

Andrea: OMG THAT IS THE WORST

Fenella: THE NERVE!

Andrea: I HATE THAT! they get in the way of the television: it's like, not only are you going to talk to me and interrupt me --you're also going to STAND in front of the television?!

Fenella: yeah,omg it's especially bad when say.... you're watching the game and....gmu is up to by 2 to uconn in the elite 8 with 3 seconds left in the game, and uconn has the ball.
WHY YOU GONNA TRY TO TALK TO ME THEN?!?!?!!!!!!

Fenella: this is why i choose to go to hooters: they have lots of TV's, their wings are decent, and big boobies distract boys from hitting on you!

ESPNRadio's Colin Cowherd reports on show "Brett Favre did not die"

2008-03-05T10:04:00.005-05:00

Sticks and Stones may Break my Bones…
We never thought Hank Steinbrenner would be more entertaining than his father, but he plans on “restoring the Universe to order.” Was it out of order to begin with?! Is part of this restoration being inducted into Red Sox Nation by Boston’s owner John Henry?

FINALLY!
Brett Favre retired! We all agree – he’s a classy, nice guy and he for sure had a nice, illustrious career, and we did enjoy watching him, especially those epic Monday Night Football games. But well…these are our thoughts:

Andrea: BRETT FAVRE RETIRED.
praise jesus!
Fenella: thank the lord!
i mean he's great and all
but
IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

Dear Brett: May you have an enjoyable retirement, filled with pleasure and relaxation, and devoid of cameos in movies. You’re a terrible actor. Let’s face it, we can’t all be Peyton Manning.

Who will be the object of John Madden’s man-crush now??

Because Tom Brady Always Gets What He Wants
Randy Moss is staying in New England, so for you free agency junkies, cross another one off your list. Guess that whole Randy Moss – Daunte Culpeper reunion thing won’t happen. However, Asante Samuel left the Pats for the Eagles….Hmm, weren’t the Pats supposed to be working on improving their D?

And Speaking of Money…
Pittsburgh Steelers Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger just got a bigger paycheck. (Bigger?! Get it?!) We’d take $36 million guaranteed. Who are we kidding, we’d take $36 guaranteed! Congrats Big Ben!

Big Red make the Big Dance
For the first time since 1988, a team other than Penn or Princeton secured a berth in the NCAA Tournament. Congratulations, Cornell! On the other end of the spectrum, outlook not so good for Harvard. Just ask Tommy Amaker. Are we surprised they are accused of cheating? Actually, no. Just look at their history of grade inflation. Just because it’s hard to get accepted, doesn’t mean you should work like a candy a** once you get there.

Countdown to March Madness: 15 DAYS

Back in Business

2008-02-29T12:32:00.006-05:00

Stuff that’s happened since we last updated the blog

-Kelvin Sampson: gone.
-Roger Clemens: probed. And we don’t mean in the “alien abduction” sort of way.
-Tennessee: short-lived number one men's team in college basketball.
-Yao Ming: out for the season.
-Caron Butler: worse off than we thought.

-Dwight Howard: Superman.
-Jason Kidd: a Maverick.
-In Memoriam: Myron Cope.
-NFL Scouting Combine: don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
-New CK Campaign: Tom Brady in his underwear. Droooool....
-Fenella: still deciding which haircut to get.

Countdown to March Madness: 22 Days!!!!

http://ncaasports.com/mmod?source=mktg_mmod08_vip1_n-hpps&refcode=mmod08_vip1_n-hpps

Lots To Talk About

2008-02-11T13:00:00.000-05:00

What a week in sports! If the Super Bowl weren’t enough, this week there was the Shaq-Shawn Trade, Bob Knight resigns, Rivalry Week in college ball including Duke-UNC, AND the ‘Skins finally hired a head coach. We had to write another blog to keep up!

Something in the water…
Firstly, either Steve Kerr is a genius or is drinking the same water as Memphis GM Chris Wallace. In possibly the biggest trade since…Pau Gasol went to the Lakers last week, the Phoenix Suns acquired an aging Shaquille O’Neal from the Miami Heat and sent an unhappy Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks to southern Florida. Shaq’s definitely the inside presence the Suns so desperately need, but he’s big and slow and we’re not quite sure how he’s going to fit into the Suns’ speedy offensive pace. Charles Barkley's take on Shaq's age and the trade: “If it don’t work, use Viagra” (we have no idea what he means either but it's funny).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lr-Q5V0J9Mg&feature=related

Meanwhile, D-Wade welcomes Shawn as the Heat begin their rebuilding year…midway through this season.

Pat Knight Takes Over for Dad
After 902 wins, Bob Knight resigned as head coach of Texas Tech. Resigned, mind you, not retired. We wouldn’t be surprised if he popped up verbally abusing kids and yelling at the media from another bball location. But his resignation came out of nowhere, so we’re not sure what’s up with him. Son Pat Knight takes over as head coach, and notched up his first losses against Baylor (Wednesday night) and the Cornhuskers of Nebraska (Saturday afternoon).

Tar Heels and Blue Devils “Duke” it Out
It’s Rivalry Week! The week kicked off with meeting of the rivals of Tobacco Road – Duke-UNC. It also marked the return of Dick Vitale to the broadcasting world – hooray for the return of the voice of college ball! It’s just not the same without him, bay-by! UNC was really missing superstar Ty Lawson immensely and they couldn’t make a shot to save their lives, while Duke drained about 99% of their 3s, spread their offense, played good D and were able to show their depth as they easily won in Chapel Hill. Tyler Hansbrough had a monster game, and eclipsed one MJ in scoring, but it wasn’t enough for the Tar Heels, as they lost to the Blue Devils, 89-78. Duke continued to roll in the Atlantic Coast Conference, with a 90-80 win over Boston College on Saturday while UNC needed double overtime to beat Clemson on Sunday.

Redskins Find Head Coach by Lazily Promoting Offensive Coordinator
To the shock of, well, everyone, the Washington Redskins promoted Offensive Coordinator Jim Zorn to the head coaching position. Will the West Coast offensive survive in Washington? Will Jason Campbell survive his seventh offensive system in eight years? Will Daniel Snyder ever come to his senses?

Wrapping up the season, NFL’s best gathered in Hawaii for the Pro Bowl. This must be the least-watched All-Star game of all sports. Well, in case you missed it, the NFC came back from a 24-7 deficit to beat the AFC 42-30. Rookie sensation Adrian Peterson ran for 129 yards and 2TD’s in the come-from-behind victory. That’s NFC 2 AFC 0 in 2007-08. Enjoy the offseason, guys!

The AG Drinking Game

http://www.nbc.com/americangladiators

The American Gladiators phenomenon continues. To add to the fun, we’ve created a drinking game to go along with it:

1. Every time Hulk says “brother”, drink 1 (this will get you drunk in the 1st 10 minutes)
2. Every time a contestant says she or he is doing it for their mom or dad, drink 1
3. Every time a contestant says she or he is doing it for their kids, drink 1 for each kid
4. Every time Wolf howls, drink 1
5. Every time someone gets injured, drink 1
6. Every time a contestant ends up in the water, drink 1
7. Every time a gladiator ends up in the water, drink 2
8. After each round, drink 1 for each advantage point a contestant has for each other (e.g. after round 1, if contestant A is up 6-4 over contestant B, drink 2; after round 2, if contestant A is up 10-4 over contestant B, drink 4; etc.)

Happy Drinking!

The Little Eli that Could...Could!

2008-02-04T15:11:00.000-05:00

http://www.aplaceforbaby.com/ssl/productimages/RUSS-little-engine2.jpg

Hey, we’re still writing good things about Eli! In a low-scoring thriller, the New York (football) Giants beat the New England Patriots, 17-14, and thwarted the Pats 19-0 season. Eli Manning’s two touchdowns garnered him Most Valuable Player honors, just like brother Peyton did last year, making this the first time brothers have won a Super Bowl AND the MVP award AT THE SAME POSITION in consecutive seasons. We’re so proud of Eli! The beginning was exciting, the end was exciting, and the middle…was very defensive, so we admit there was a lull for a while. Halftime performers Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers didn’t exactly make things more exciting either. Ever since the Justin/Janet fiasco, half-time shows just haven’t been as…fun, at least for the under 40 crowd. (Paul McCartney, Prince, Rolling Stones, Tom Petty = 100% chance no boobies will be shown ever again. Except for maybe Mick Jagger’s…)

Poor Bill Belichick looked like he was ready to cry in his post-game interview. It almost made us feel sorry for him. Almost. Considering how pissed the Pats were after Spygate, do you think they’ll so pissed off next season that they’ll run the table again? Probably not, but we bet Billy’s gonna be scheming over the summer.

Other headlines we considered for this:

-A “Giant” Win or A “Giant” Upset
-No “Giant” Win for God’s Team
-18-1, or 19 and None
-Return of the Red Hoodie Jinxes Belichick and the Patriots
-New England’s Perfect Season wishes “Booted”
-Bostonians not-so”Randy” after Pats Super Bowl Loss
-What do the Kardashian sisters and Oompa Loompas have in common?

Wizards Continue Slide
UGH. The Washington Wizards lost their third straight, with a 103-91 win by the Los Angeles Lakers. They’re getting tired, we think. We need the Hibachi back! We miss you, Gil.

The LA Lakers made their big trade, but not what many people had thought. They sent man-child, player-with-talent-that-does-the-least Kwame Brown to the Memphis Grizzlies for Pau Gasol, some rookie and a couple draft picks. Are you kidding? We know, Memphis was sucking, he wanted out, they wanted to rebuild and get his salary cap outta there, but Kwame for PAU GASOL?!? When Andrew Bynum comes back, “the Lakers are going be sick”, as our friend and biggest Laker fan ever Floyd happily described. Not for the March 30th rematch, when Hibachi and the gold jerseys are back!

Super Bowl Preview

2008-02-01T15:24:00.000-05:00

Everyone else is doing it…why can’t we?

Injury Reports are Complete Jokes
After Bootgate, the New England Patriots injury report listed Tom Brady as having an injury (or “injury” wethinks) to his right shoulder. And in what hopefully doesn’t turn into another Dewey Defeats Truman, New York Giants Plaxico Burress predicted a Giants victory in Arizona this Sunday. No one knows what will happen, but we do think that if any team has the best shot against Tom Brady and company, it will be the G-men.

In other Super Bowl-related news, Tom Brady was voted the #7 hottest QB in the NFL. Yes, you read that right – number 7. Fellow Super Bowl QB-er Eli Manning ranked atop Brady on this list, and Kyle Boller of the Baltimore Ravens earned the top spot as Hottest QB in the NFL. Kyle Boller?!?! Who participated in this poll? We believe we are more than qualified to take a closer look at these startling stats and rebuff them. In fact, a poll conducted of our own concludes that Tom Brady ranked #1 hottest QB in the history of the NFL among females, as well as #1 most hated NFL QB among males (i.e. “we’re jealous because not only is he really good at football but he’s also really good-looking and has a hot girlfriend”). We put Tom and Kyle to the test, and ask you…which one is hotter?

(Style.com)

vs.

THERE IS NO COMPETITION

Wild for the ‘Cats in Manhattan (Kansas, that is)
Like the poster said, 25th time is a charm, as Kansas State beat archrival Kansas 85-76. The best bit of all was actually BEFORE the game, when K-State wunderkind Michael Beasley proclaimed “We're going to beat KU at home. We're going to beat them at their house. We're going to beat them in Africa. Wherever we play, we're going to beat them." One down, two to go. Although, we don’t foresee the NCAA scheduling any games outside the United States anytime soon…

Hanging in there, but for how long?
The Washington Wizards are only 3 ½ games behind Southeastern division leader Orlando, but will the gap continue to widen without Caron Butler? The Wizards showed that they need their potential All-Star, as they were consumed by the Toronto Raptors, 122-83. And speaking of consumption, perhaps Wizznutzz should put the official popcorn of the Washington Wizards in their game-day food pyramid.

And congrats to Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison, who were both named to the East All-Star Squad! Their places as two of the best in the East are well-deserved, as they have kept our Wiz in the playoff hunt, despite the loss of Agent Zero.

Further Proof that TMZ knows all!
Turns out Tony and Jess aren’t broken up after all. You gotta start questioning the credibility of ESPN when it considers OK! Magazine a credible source. This further proves Andrea’s theory that if it isn’t on TMZ.com, it just isn’t true.

A Dedication to Eli...

2008-01-24T16:38:00.000-05:00

…Because who knows when we'll ever write anything good about him ever again

A Manning is in the Super Bowl two years in a row. We just thought Peyton would repeat. But the Little Eli that Could and the rest of the New York Giants (yes, even you, Lawrence Tynes!) defeated Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers, 23-20 in the NFC Championship. Eli was cool, calm and collected in leading his team to the Big Game while mighty Brett Favre choked and single-handedly blew it for his team. Let’s repeat, in case it never happens again: Brett = Really Bad, Eli = Really good!

Fortunately for the rosy Tom Coughlin, the Super Bowl will be played in Glendale, Arizona and not in the North Pole. Queries for Tom Coughlin’s frostbitten face are so popular on the internet that Google and Yahoo! are unable to run the search.

http://bladesofblue.blogspot.com/2008/01/congelatio.html
Two Words, Tommy: SKI MASK

Victory and Looks…to “boot”
Is Tom Brady’s ankle sprained that badly? How will it affect him in the big game? And what designer made his cowboy boots?! (He was just messin’ with us.) Those are the questions we ask ourselves after the New England Patriots’ victory over the San Diego Not-So-Charged, 21-12. Philip Rivers and LT didn’t do much. Despite having more scoring drives, all San Diego could come up with were field goals. So Phil was less than average, but we give him props for trying, especially since he had knee surgery seven days beforehand, which is more than we can say for LT. Had they not been so beat up, the Chargers would have probably won the AFC Championship, especially since Tom Brady decided to suck ass that day. (Was Bridget Moynahan in the house?) Oh well, at least Norv Turner is doing SOMETHING, which is more than we can say for his tenure at Washington.

Their Swag is Phenomemal…even without the Hibachi
Without Gilbert Arenas, the Washington Wizards continued their magical play, second in the Southeast division behind the Orlando Magic and fourth in the East. They’re not just beating any old team, they’re beating actual contenders, like the Celts and the Mavs. They’re so good, it prompted Fenella’s friend to text her, demanding the Wiz be tested for drugs. It’s still the ugly gold jerseys – works 90% of the time! We hope that they continue to play like they did against the Boston Celtics, and not against the New York Knicks. We would also like to take this opportunity to once again state how much we hate Queen James and the Cavs.

UNC is number one no longer after a stunning upset loss to fellow-ACCers Maryland Terrapins....
But at least Tyler Hansbrough can dunk on someone who is 7’7”!

No “Love” for UCLA, or O.J. Mayo
Across the country, Trojan fans rejoiced as ONCE AGAIN USC prevailed over crosstown rivals UCLA …this time in basketball. Super Freshman OJ Mayo helped his team over Kevin Love and the Bruins. Of course, when your namesake/USC alum is currently in a Vegas jail, it only seems natural to follow suit, as NCAA is investigating OJ’s courtside seat appearance at the Lakers-Nuggets game, given to him by his “friend” and Denver Nuggets Forward Carmelo Anthony. We think they're making a little too big a deal over it. They've known each other since middle school! For a college freshman, that's like...half his life! And coach said so.

Another Corny Andrea Joke
Fenella: so apparently tony romo dumped jessica!
Andrea: i did NOT hear about tony dumping her
where did u get that from?
Fenella: extra mustard on sportsillustrated.com
Andrea: ahh....i bet he got pressured
get it?!
"pressured"
i crack myself up!

Cue Fenella shaking her head...

There's No Overarching Theme

2008-01-16T19:28:00.000-05:00

Wizards’ Magical Play Defeats Boston Celtics
Our beloved Wiz defeated the NBA Powerhouse Boston Celtics, not once but TWICE in three days, giving the Celts their 2nd loss in 3 games AND their first two game losing streak of the season. They were total legit wins too – Boston played with super trio KG, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce and we were still without Agent Zero. DeShaun Stevenson (uh…who?) led the team to victory on Saturday night while the highest-scoring tandem in the NBA Antawn Jamison & Caron Butler helped the team to a come-from-behind W in Boston’s home court Monday night. We think the Wizards’ secret to success is their hideously awesome away jerseys. Gilbert must’ve designed those golden babies himself. Resembling Las Vegas showgirls seems to provide good distraction to the opposing team.

Anyways, We Rule. Except when we lost to the New York Knicks shortly after. Maybe it’s time for a jersey redesign…

A Giant Win for New York
Yawn -- Manning’s in the divisional championship game again. Oh wait a minute. That’s not Peyton, it’s Eli! The Giants continued their improbable playoff run by beating the top-seeded Dallas Cowboys, 21-17. Can Eli win on the road again? We’ll find out Sunday when he travels to a cold and snowy Green Bay for the NFC title game.

Meanwhile, Tony Romo is off to cry in the boobs of Jessica Simpson, while T.O. cries in front of the cameras. Always had good relationships with your QBs, ey? Don’t know if Donovon would agree. Wethinks T.O. has a kind of “special” relationship with T.R. Suspiciously fruity!

Charge!
The San Diego Chargers upset Peyton Manning and the Colts at home, 28-24 and are next in line to face the mighty Pats. For shame on the Colts for allowing back-ups Billy Volek and Michael Turner (no, we don’t know who they are either) to put together an impressive 4th quarter scoring drive. Way to defend that Super Bowl, champs! Perhaps the Colts could use some of Peyton Manning’s pep talks. Perhaps Peyton could use some himself….While we’re on the subject of good advice, maybe Philip Rivers could get some style tips from Tom Brady on post-game dress. The man always looks impeccable.

http://www.chargers.com/fan_zone/media_vault/press-conference-video.htm

http://iamyourmom.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/tom.jpg

Packers put Seahawks at “Bay”
The Packers had no problem defeating the Seattle Seahawks in snowy Green Bay on Saturday, 42-20. Brett Favre totally doesn’t look like a man approaching middle-agedness and who knew GB had such a strong running game with Ryan Grant. Are they Super Bowl-bound?

17-0
The Jags gave a valiant effort, but Tom Brady and the Pats continue to be perfect, err…almost perfect. NFL’s Man of the Year went 26 for 28 passing in a 31-20 win over Jacksonville, bringing the Pats two games closer to a perfect season. What more do we have to say about them?

Marion Jones Caught Off Track
The former Olympian is now Jonesin’ for something OTHER than an orange jumpsuit, as she was sentenced to six months in prison for lying to a grand jury about taking performance-enhancing drugs. It’s sad, but we’re not surprised.

Goodbye, Gibby

2008-01-10T12:03:00.000-05:00

Redskins are Green with Envy after Playoff Loss to Seahawks
The Battle in Seattle wasn’t much of a battle, except maybe in part of the fourth quarter, where Washington actually led for a period of time 14-13. The Seattle defense and the raucous Qwest Field crowd, however, proved to be too much for Gibbs and his gang, with a 35-14 defeat. We are sad that we couldn’t continue our run, but after all the injuries to our squad and the untimely death of Sean Taylor, we’re happy we even MADE the playoffs. There’s always next year!

Three days later, our beloved Joe Gibbs resigned as head coach and team president, citing family reasons. His second stint as head coach proved he was a little rusty in this day and age’s style of football (his time management and poor decisions claiming he didn’t know the rules killed us sometimes) but he’s still the only coach that brought us glory (4 Super Bowls appearances, 3 NFL Champs). His leadership took us through tragedy (Sean Taylor) and glory (two playoff runs) and we’ll miss him dearly.

Dan Snyder now has the task of finding his replacement – the sixth coach of the ‘Skins since ’99. Front runners are defensive and offensive coordinators Gregg Williams and Al Saunders, plus talk of coercing former Pittsburgher Bill Cowher out of hiatus. We’re not sure how we feel about that, but we’re hoping we can build on this year. Things can only go up!

Because Spandex Never Goes out of Style…
Just when we were getting bored of reruns, American Gladiators returned to television Sunday night. What’s more fun that seeing the average human go up against big-biceped wrestler-type wannabes named Wolf, Titan, Crush and Fury? Old favorites such as the joust, the gauntlet and the eliminator were back with the addition of some new obstacles like hit & run and earthquake. We gots to give mad props to our Asian peeps representin’, tiny Filipina Venus Ramos came from behind in the Eliminator to win, as did little spider monkey Moly, whose idea of trash talking is, “I ain’t worried ‘cause his osteoporosis is gonna set in!” (and the society of pocket protectors all proclaimed, “Ohhh snapp! He got BURNED!”)

A Post-Season Post
As much as we’d like to think otherwise, the Washington Redskins weren’t the only team in the playoffs. Looks like the New York Giants didn’t need a week off, as they towered over the Tampa Bay Buccaneers 24-14.

Joke: What did a disgruntled Tampa Bay fan have to say after the loss?
Punchline: AARGH!

http://www.kissdominion.com/cptfear.gif

Eli and the Giants travel to Dallas to face the top seeded Cowboys. Tony Romo should be well rested after his mini-vacay with everybody’s favorite blonde Jessica Simpson and her parents. Talk about joykill. Last year, Romo mishandled a snap in the final minutes ending their playoff run, so he’s hoping to erase that memory. Follow Tommy’s advice, Tony – leave Jessica at home!

The Jacksonville Jaguars proved that they deserved to be a favorite on the road as they beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 31-29. Should Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin have gone for those two-point conversions? Also, as our ever-so-observant friend Shaun pointed out during the game, he has remarkably smooth skin. Seriously, not a blemish to be found, smooth and probably baby soft. What moisturizer do you use, Mikey and who is your facialist? It's all suspiciously fruity to us. Machosensuals Unite!

Positively charged in the second half, San Diego Chargers head coach Norv Turner got his first post-season win against the Tennessee Titans, 17-6. The injury-riddled Tennessee Titans looked more like the Tennessee Toddlers down the stretch.

Defamation Lawsuit? Roger, that!
Andrea: ok, what are we writing about this week…roger clemens?
Fenella: do we care about baseball and roger clemens?
Andrea: i don't know. do we?
Fenella: i don't really care about him
i think he should just admit it
Andrea: LOL

BCS
In the BCS Championship game (and no, Nicholas, BCS stands for “Bowl Championship Series” not short for “because”), LSU achieved dominance, coming from 10-0 behind to beat Ohio State. The Buckeyes relived last year’s BCS nightmare, this time with LSU giving them a 38-24 pounding (the game was not as close as the score suggests.) Despite their two losses, LSU rightfully earned the title of best team in college football (um, except for maybe USC). With pretty much all the bowls this year a no-contest (USC, UGA and WVU routed their opponents), can we now make a case for a playoff instead of computer-generated rankings?

Now that college football is over, it’s time to move onto NCAA ball – conference play just started and March Madness is only two months away – WOOHOO!

Happy New Year!

2008-01-04T14:37:00.000-05:00

Picture Perfect
They did it! The New England Patriots finished the season 16-0 for the first time in the history of the National Football League, much to the disappointment of Don Shula and his ’72 squad. Sorry, Miami Dolphins – 25 years later champagne is poppin’ in Foxborough. Of course, that perfect season means nothing if the Pats don’t win it all. Can they continue their momentum? In true Belichick form, ALL the Pats proclaim that perfect season was last year and they’re back to 0-0 this year on their quest to go 3-0. We’ll be watching....

Collins Callin’ the Shots as Redskins make the Postseason
36-year old Todd Collins helped the Washington Redskins to four straight wins at the end of the seasons to help the team nab a spot in the playoffs, including a 27- 6 drubbing of the Dallas Cowboys (aka “Spawn of the Devil”). And Jessica Simpson didn’t even need to be there! Plus, Fenella won her bet that they’d make the playoffs and gets dessert out of it – YAY!

Things Todd Collins is older than:
-Us
-30-year aged Balsamic Vinegar from Zingerman’s
-The widespread use of cellular phones
-Everyone on the Washington Redskins squad except #67 Ethan Albright, who is about six months older

The ‘Skins will be playing the Seattle Seahawks at Qwest Field, also known as the loudest place in the world. Washington could save some money by playing at home in the middle of Love nightclub, which is just as loud. This is a rematch of the 2005 playoffs, which the Redskins lost 20-10. But they have momentum and the spirit of Sean Taylor on their side….Can they upset the ‘hawks and keep it going, or revert back to their underachieving ways? Fenella hopes it’s the former, ‘cause she has another bet going that they make the NFC Championship!

Stop and Smell the Roses
Congratulations to Fenella’s beloved USC Trojans as they manhandled the Illinois Fighting Illini on New Year’s Day, 49-17. That Stanford game seems so long ago. See how awesome the Trojans can be when everyone’s healthy?!?! The future still looks bright for the Cardinal & Gold with freshman Joe McKnight showing flashes of Reggie Bush. The Rose Bowl has been such a success for the Trojans the last few years, maybe it isn’t such a bad thing if they move there….Then again, maybe not.
In other bowl news, Kansas (whose BCS appearance was questionable) stunned many when they beat Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl (excuse me, the FedEx Orange Bowl), 24-21. The swan song that is Lloyd Carr’s career at Michigan ended with a bang, with the Wolverines defeating Heisman Trophy winner Tim Tebow and the University of Florida Gators in the Capitol One Bowl 41-35. Capitol One Bowl? Seriously?! What kind of name is that? Colt Brennan and his Hawaii Warriors couldn’t maintain a perfect season with a crushing loss to UGA.
The Big Game takes place on Monday when LSU takes on Ohio State, who is hoping for a non-repeat of last year’s upset loss to Florida.

Just Like When They Were Kids
Hockey outside didn’t bother the Pittsburgh Penguins or Buffalo Sabres, but it sure did get to Bob Costas. The New Year’s day spectacle was a Winter Wonderland, snowy and cold. Pittsburgh won in a shootout 2-1, but what the National Hockey League won for that day was the eyes of mainstream America for the first time since the NHL’s television contracts were slashed into practical oblivion (and no, Versus is NOT a real network).

New Year's Resolutions
Follow Andrea's New Year's Resolution in her new culinary blog: Adventures in Foodism.

Something For the Weekend

2007-12-07T14:25:00.003-05:00

Just to brighten your day =)

Discovery of the Week: Steve Nash turned hot

USC's John David Booty has a nice...booty

The cutest puppy ever

In Memoriam

2007-11-27T12:54:00.000-05:00

Sean Taylor
1983-2007

You weren't perfect, but neither are we. Your talent will be truly missed.

Poetry Slam...Dunk!

2007-11-14T08:13:00.000-05:00

So…Andrea got sick and we missed a couple of weeks. We had a blog ready too! So we’ll update you on what has happened since

Sweet, Sweet Fantasy Baby
Andrea 5-3-0
Witwicky (Fenella) 5-3-0
IMAWESOME 5-3-0
Vickster1234 1-7-0
**Yes, that IS a three-way tie for first place.

And the Week 10 Update…
IMAWESOME 6-3-0
Andrea 5-4-0
Witwicky (Fenella) 5-4-0
Vickster1234 2-7-0

Announcing the Winner
The top haiku from a few weeks ago:

Brady is shady
He impregnates ornately
His seeds are misdeeds

First-runner up (in the instance that the winner is no longer able to serve in their position):
Haikus are easy
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator

Props to Liam & Jeff for their genius-osity!

Campbell’s Game Looks…Soupy
What was the score? 52-7? 107-26? The Redskins never showed up in Foxborough. Even the crappy Dolphins got 28 against the Pats. We all hope that this game is a “learning experience” for young buck Jason Campbell.

As for you, Mr. Belichik (and Mr. Brady for that matter), did you really have to run up the score like that? You were up 38-0 at the end of the third quarter! Really, that’s like 5 extra “eff you” TD’s than necessary. Unsportsmanlike conduct, gentleman!

Mmm…Not So Good
After a close victory against Eric the Man-not-so-Genius and his New York Jets, the Redskins lose a nailbiter at home to the emotionally downtrodden Philadelphia Eagles, 33-25. Bad play calling on the sidelines lost this one for the ‘Skins. A two-point conversion in the FIRST HALF?! So what if the kicker Suisham missed his opening extra point? Statistically you’re better off kicking the extra point. Two-point conversions are exactly that – you must convert. And if you don’t, well, now you’re one loss away from being at .500.

In other football news, Mr. MNF – Brett Favre – threw a 82-yard touchdown on the very first play in OT to beat the Broncos, who tied the game in what has to be the fastest field goal set-up and kick in history (hey, Pat Ramsey, turns out you’re actually good for something!) Favre and company continued their success in a 34-0 rout of the Minnesota Vikings. Bad week for those in Fantasy that started Adrian Peterson (Fenella sheds more tears…)

Football does not equal FOOTBALL
How did Jason Taylor get his own “statue”? In the mud-fest that was the Giants/Dolphins game, Eli and company beat Miami in London 13-10. Twenty years removed from their perfect season, could the Dolphins do the opposite and finish a winless 0-16?

If the NFL continues to have games in Europe, they should go back to London and have the Pittsburgh Steelers play against the Washington Redskins. Just think of all the Big Ben-Big Ben and London-London Fletcher jokes!

Who Cares
We hate the Giants. And the Cowboys. Why would we give THEM an update?!

The Real Super Bowl
New England versus Indianapolis. All the calls went the Colts’ way, and the Pats still squeaked past them with a 24-20 victory. Now if Tom Brady could just tackle that haircut…The bye week should give him plenty of time.

As for Indy, they couldn’t recover against the Chargers, as Peyton played possibly the worst game of his career, throwing six interceptions and Adam Vinatieri, Mr Clutch I Can Kick a 40-Yard Winning Field Goal With No Time Remaining in a Blizzard, missed 2 field goals, including the potential winner. D’oh!

We’re Sick with the Fever!
We got the fever….Red Sox fever! The BoSox completed their sweep of the Colorado Rockies newbies. Really, could it have ended any other way? The Rockies looked rusty and nervous after their 8-day break and couldn’t recover, while the Sox kept their winning momentum going…and going…and going. They’re poised to become a dynasty, like the Yankees, except we don’t hate them as much. And Theo Epstein is a WAY hotter GM than Brian Cashman. Just a warning to Boston sports fans…don’t get TOO spoiled!

Now We’re Just…Sick
On the night of the Red Sox’s victory, Alex Rodriguez and his agent Scott Boras announced that A-Rod would opt-out of his gazillion dollar contract to play somewhere else. We hope A-Rod gets a zit on that annoyingly pretty face of his. Could he possibly follow former manager Joe Torre to La La Land?

The Unpredictable Wonder that is the BCS
College Football. Fenella doesn’t want to talk about it. Except maybe those 15 laterals to score the winning touchdown with no time remaining by Division III college Trinity. That crazy play could possibly have surpassed the Cal/Stanford play…minus the bands on the field.

And speaking of Division III, College Gameday visited…Williams College in Massachusetts? Um…go purple cows? We support ESPN’s effort to diversify the locales they visit on crisp Fall Saturdays, it’s just that Williams and their opponent Amherst College have enrollments that make the colleges smaller than the HIGH SCHOOL we went to.

Third Time’s the Charm

2007-10-23T14:29:00.000-04:00

Three weeks in a row. We should have some kind of counter to see how long we can keep this up.

4-2 Haikus
Arizona win?
Neil Rackers field goal miss
‘Skins in a nail-biting one

Dreams of five and two
Tom Brady and rocket arm
Make Redskins cry, cry

At least we have personality…
Funny man Peyton
In shadow of pretty Tom
Also unbeaten

Think you too are a poetic genius?? Comment and send us your sports haikus*!

*A Haiku is a short 3 line poem. The first line contains 5 syllables, the second 7, and the third 5. It doesn’t usually rhyme, and be sure to “paint” a mental image in the reader’s mind.

Fantasy Football Update
Andrea 5-2-0
Witwicky (Fenella) 4-3-0
IMAWESOME 4-3-0
Vickster1234 1-6-0

If we actually used the message boards, here’s a sampling of some “smack talk”:
Witwicky: By the way, I totally kicked your ass in fantasy this week
IMAWESOME: OH REALLY
IMAWESOME: Well just you wait.
IMAWESOME: you JUST WAIT UNTIL I SIGN ONTO THE WEBSITE

2004-peat?
We were right! The Red Sox like drama – they play best when the odds are against them Once again, the Boston Red Sox did the unthinkable, as they came back from 3-1 down in the ALCS to beat the Cleveland Indians and advance to the World Series. The question is: will Colorado be rusty from their eight-day break? What have they been doing all this time? We might actually watch the World Series this year!

BCS stands for Bad Computer Standings
In what continues to be a whirlwind season in college football, Ohio State, Boston College, and LSU round out the top three in the Bowl Championship Series standings. Despite a 7-0 record, people continue to question BC’s spot because of their strength of schedule (or in this case, the lack thereof). They didn’t even play this week! Meanwhile, USC achieved dominance once again by pounding Notre Dame 38-0, in the storied school’s worst home defeat in history and Cal made it two in a row, with a loss to the lowly UCLA Bruins.

By the way, it must be pretty awesome to be a New England sports fan right now – BC is #2 in the BCS, the Pats are kicking ass in the NFL, the Red Sox are in the World Series, the Celtics are about to begin a potentially turnaround season with KG & Ray Allen, hell – even the Bruins are looking good & the Revolution are in the MLS Cup Play-offs. Spread the sports wealth guys, come on!

En fuego, and not in a good way
After the Brazilian beat down at the Women’s World Cup, Greg Ryan is out as coach of the U.S. Women’s Soccer team. Ryan ousted goalie-on-a-roll Hope Solo (no, that isn’t a sandwich) for veteran Brianna Scurry. The US lost 4-0 in the semis and Hope Solo said Ryan was mental in the head. Let’s hope the women continue their world domination next time in… to be determined??

Peyton Manning gives Advice
Check this out! Even if the advice might suck, once again we see that the P-Man is a comedic genius. Whatever you do, do not rub dirt on it!

We Heart Fantasy Football

2007-10-19T15:04:00.000-04:00

Look, we’re back – a week later! See, we’re making time in our busy schedules for you guys.

Fantasy Football Update
We’re getting addicted to FFL. The Playing the Field girls both kicked serious ass last week, with Fendizzle scoring a whopping 161 points and Andrea 146. Thank you, Tom Brady, for not just being the hotness, but for also throwing 5 TD’s and getting 44 fantasy points! SUCH a bada**.

The Standings:
Andrea 4-2-0
IMAWESOME 4-2-0
Witwicky 3-3-0
Vickster1234 1-5-0

Our Redskins fell to a rejuvenated Brett Favre and the Packers, 17-14. We’d recap, but Fenella went to Vegas and Andrea went apple picking. Andrea blames the Redskins on her inability to perform her gametime ritual of wearing her Redskins hat and falling asleep in the midst of it all. The Pats kicked more ass versus the Cowboys Sunday. Do you think that maybe they’re a little pissed over that whole cheating thing and are trying to prove something? It’s like every game, they’re like “Ha! In your FACE [insert team here]!” Stop it, Bill, stop it. Actually, as long as Brady keeps throwing those TD’s, we’re okay.

And who chooses MNF games? Seriously. Giants – Falcons? Eli Manning, Plexi Glass Burress and Joey Harrington are primetime, ESPN, Monday Night Football-worthy? Really?? Okay, okay, so Michael Vick was probably still on the roster when the NFL scheduled this, but he alone is not MNF material…. Seriously, Giants-Falcons?

Parity? Perhaps…No
It was another weekend of college football upsets. Former #1 LSU fell to Kentucky in triple OT and Cal, who had the #1 spot for the taking, fell to Oregon State. Back-up QB Kevin Riley tried to run the ball and then get the field goal unit on the field with two seconds left in the game. TWO SECONDS. What are you thinking?! Newbie. So we don’t know WHY we entrust computers to rank teams, since they can’t watch any of the games. But those BCS computers went haywire and ranked Ohio State as number one and USF as number two. Who, you say? It doesn’t matter, because their reign at number two was short lived, as USF fell in a close one to last-year’s darling Rutgers 30-27.

Meanwhile, USC barely scraped by Arizona. Their back-up QB Mark Sanchez nearly blew it in the end. SC’s falling further down the polls, and it’s really stressing Fenella out. This weekend they play Notre Dame, and God help them if they lose and lower themselves down to – gasp – UCLA level.

Colorado Contues Rockin and Rollin’
And how about those Rockies, ey?!?!! Do they remember what losing feels like? Hopefully that long break before the World Series doesn’t kill their momentum. They await the winner of Indians-Red Sox series. The Red Sox are hanging on…mayhaps they play best when they fall behind in the series and then like to play catch up. They like drama. But can you really win with A) a guy named Coco Crisp on your roster (What pro athlete goes by the name Coco? He sounds like a cereal!) and B) a supposedly good pitcher whose last name means “WIN” in French (Gagne) does anything but?

And finally…
Question of the week: What are the odds that Kobe Bryant gets traded? We don’t really care, as long as he doesn’t go to the Wizards!

Eight months later...

2007-10-10T09:15:00.000-04:00

We’re still alive! Well, almost. Fenella had a little scare with her knee, but fear not good friends, her soccer career is not over. Report says she’s out for two weeks and is considered probable for her next soccer match around that time.

Anyways. There were several reasons why we didn’t update, and many reasons why we’re starting again. Our favorite:

Taya: You should start that [the blog] up again since you’re out [injured]
Taya: Like those players that do sportscasting, haha

Thanks for the encouragement!

So what’s new?

The Big News:
We started a Fantasy Football league. It only has four people, and is really for experimental purposes since we’re all newbies. Here are the standings so far:

IMAWESOME 4-1-0
Andrea 3-2-0
Witwicky 2-3-0
Vickster1234 1-4-0

What’s even better, our top player has not once logged onto the site, nor does she even know who’s on her team. When we informed her that she was ahead in the standings, her response was, “Huh? For what?” IMAWESOME, indeed.

Eight months is a long time, so we’re not even gonna begin to sum up what’s happened in that time. But we can tell you what did NOT happen in that time:

The Chicago Bears did not win the Super Bowl, even with scoring on the opening kickoff
Baseball did not get any more interesting in the regular season
David Beckham did not live up to expectations when joining the Galaxy (but he sure did get hotter….RRRRR!)
The Buffalo Bills did not win MNF despite 6 Tony “I-Want-to-be-like-JD-Booty” Romo turnovers
Andrea did not get a pony for her birthday
Fenella did not move back to the east coast

Now onto what’s happening now…

A Rocky run for Colorado, an even Rockier one for the Metropolitans
For the first time in franchise history, the Colorado Rockies are going to the National League Championship Series. This is also the first time they have reached the post-season. Out of the “latest” expansion teams, they are the last team to make the post-season. In other news, ESPN Radio Host Mike Golic cursed the New York Mets, who did not make the playoffs. He’s lucky that the Yankees lost the American League Division Series, or Mets fans would have REALLY had some beef.

Losing to Trees
On this past fateful Saturday, USC lost at home. To Stanford. Yes, STANFORD!!!! Stanford, 41 point underdogs , 1-3 so far this year, 1-10 last year, scraping-the-bottom-of-all-of-division-one-college-football-barrell. USC – undefeated in the Coliseum for 6 years, winner of 5 Pac-10 championships, 3 Heisman trophy winners, 2 National titles, and the best recruiting class in college football – fell 24-23. How is that even comprehensible? Well, 4 John David Booty interceptions, a lost fumble, maybe 100 yards in penalties, countless dropped passes, and not one but two defensive breakdowns in the last minute of the 4th quarter will probably do it. (Fenella started hyperventilating in the last minute of the game.) As a result, USC dropped 8 spots to Number 10, along with their ego. You’d think after the previous week’s Washington scare, they’d be fired up for Stanford. Nope. Let’s hope the next few weeks, USC bounces back and makes a fight for BCS Bowl #6. Fight On, Trojans, Fight On! Not to be outdone, UCLA lost to Notre Dame – who were competing with Stanford for worst team in college football. Thank you silver lining.

In the meantime, LSU continued to beat everybody else up. And who would’ve thought that South Florida would be a top five team?!

Maybe getting injured wasn’t such a bad thing…

So in preparation for her big comeback, Fenella went to buy a knee brace. She headed down to Sports Chalet in Marina del Rey (take note, fellow SoCal sports gals), where, as she was musing over the different brands and level of support offered to her in the sports medicine aisle, some random guy came up and started chatting her up! Eventually, she got his number so he would finally leave her alone. Okay, so kind of creepy and definitely random, but also…Who knew the knee brace section of Sports Chalet was a hot spot for meeting guys???

And finally…Our hometown teams: The Washington Redskins are 3-1, and 50% towards our hopes of a 6-10 season. Wooohooo!!!! Seriously, they’re looking kinda good, except for maybe the 2nd half against the Giants. We don’t know what happened, but we always seem to fall apart to the Giants. The ‘Skins, however, manhandled Detroit. Guess too many people won’t be fantasizing over Jon Kitna as their quarterback!

Our heart goes out to Etan Thomas of our beloved Washington Wizards, who we recently found out, has a heart ailment. He’s been on the Wizards longer than anybody (even Gilbert), so we’ll be sad if he can’t play this year, especially since the Wiz have pretty much no centers to speak of. On a more serious note, Etan is a super humanitarian off the field, and somebody with that big a heart cannot have an ailing one!!! Get well soon, Etan – our prayers are with you.

And congrats to DC United for making it to the playoffs! They’re one of the better teams in MLS this year, and have a solid group of guys that look like they could go all the way! Reminiscent of the glory years way back when in the ‘90’s….Jaime Moreno (yes, he’s still alive and kicking – literally) leads the team, and the league in scoring – mad props to ya! We would also like to give a shout-out to our pal Amir, who hooks us up with tix to the MLS Cup and DC United games – we heart you!

As for the O’s and Nats…um…go team? No wait, they can’t go. Except home to enjoy the off-season!

Thoughts and Prayers
Our hearts go out to those affected by the deaths of marathon runners throughout the nation over the past weekend.

Why? Because we're lazy!

2007-02-12T14:40:00.000-05:00

Andrea: duke lost
Andrea: they are on a skid
Fenella: 4 games right?
Fenella: saaaad
Andrea: yep
Fenella: what happened to the ACC?
Andrea: they died and reincarnated themselves as the big east
Fenella: BOOOOOOOOOO THE BIG EAST
Fenella: dude, USC is in the top 25
Fenella: USC!
Andrea: I KNOW
Andrea: it's like a parallel universe or something
Andrea: next thing you know
Andrea: peter john ramos will be the second coming of michael jordan
Andrea: all the way from the d-league!
Fenella: HAHAHA
Fenella: don't say that!
Fenella: although...it's not like that would be a BAD thing for us
Andrea: no it wouldn't

Bowing out Gracefully

2006-10-24T13:18:00.000-04:00

Fenella: is tiki [barber]retiring or somethin?
Andrea: apparently so!
Andrea: i think he has a couple of years left in him
Andrea: but i guess he wants to go out on top
Fenella: good plan
Fenella: (HEAR THAT, BRETT FAVRE?!!)

2-2 = 700-page Playbook Finally Coming Together?

2006-10-04T12:21:00.000-04:00

Why is Al Saunders the second-coming of Herman Melville?
After a rocky preseason and a 1-2 start, the hype that surrounded the Redskins started turning into hysteria. Sure, Washington won a game last week and Brunell set an NFL record by completing his first 22 passes…but it was against the TEXANS. A team consisting of us, Mickey Rooney, and eight Ooompa Loompas could play the Texans and win (but not one consisting of Daunte Culpepper and some guy named Ronnie Brown – haha!). Brunell, Portis et al must’ve been studying that 700-page playbook very hard, and we give them props. Like, we did okay on our SATs, we graduated from college, got a couple Masters degrees …but memorizing a 700-page playbook is just beyond our comprehension. How does Clinton Portis do it?

Anyways. A victory over the talented Jacksonville Jaguars would begin to prove that the new offense, the free agency signings might be worth Dan Snyder not buying another Six Flags theme park, or sponsoring another Scientology actor’s production company. And they did it in an exciting 36-30 Overtime fashion. The Defense gave Jags QB Byron Leftwich (who played in DC in high school) a hard time with four sacks, and Brunell’s game-ending pass to Santana Moss sent the fans at FedEx Field into a frenzy. Do we smell Super Bowl? Or is it just Andrea’s Ritz Bits Cheese Sandwiches…

Brett Favre, What are You Doing?!
Brett, we like you. Really, we do. We think you’re a GREAT player. You’ve proven yourself time and again. You’ve had phenomenal games, and you’ve won the Super Bowl. AND you’re a nice guy. But geeze, man, what are you still doing here? We know you love the game. But face reality: You’ve gotten man-handled all season, and the loss to the Philadelphia Eagles at the Linc didn’t help you any. Retire now! Before your life leads to a list of really bad cameo appearances that ruin really great movies, like There’s Something About Mary. Go out on top while you can. Oh wait…it’s too late.

T.O. Rhymes with B.O.
Something is stinky in Dallas, and according to Terrell Owens’ publicist, it isn’t his painkillers! Who knows if he really tried to kill himself. What we DO know is that he’s a moody, attention-seeking SOB. And really, we don’t blame him for trying to harm himself. I mean, wouldn’t YOU want to die if you woke up and realized you were TO? (Is that too harsh?) If we owned an NFL franchise, we wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole. On our to do list: How to Raise $500 million to purchase a NFC franchise…

More Baseball Stuff We Don’t Really Know About
It’s now the post-season for America’s Favorite Past time. Um, eight teams are playing in four games today. They aren’t anyone we like. That is all.

Unstoppable
Tiger Woods has won six consecutive times. In College Football (Division I-A style) this is the norm. But Tiger plays GOLF. He goes up against, like, 100+ other people every week. The odds of him winning, let alone six times in a row is…math we can’t do on our two hands!

Rare Air
NBA season hasn’t started yet, but we figured we’d mention something because we love our superstar Gilbert Arenas so. He’s so awesomely…WEIRD. First, he admits he played online poker at halftime. Then he said he was going to score 100 points each against Portland & Phoenix, to exact revenge from cutting him from USA Basketball. (Actually, Gilbert, it’s a good thing you weren’t there, or you would’ve been way embarrassed.) NOW he’s converting the air in his house in DC to Colorado altitude. He says it’ll help him in the fourth quarter, when everyone’s out of gas, he’ll be breathing just fine, thank you. Maybe we should do that. Fenella’s soccer coach just makes her run 2 miles, sprint, and run 2 miles again, 3 times a week…which hasn’t done her a bit of good. Crazy Gilbert, let’s hope it works!

Trojans. No, not that kind you sicko!
College Football. USC won. Barely, but they won. They remain undefeated and #3 in the nation. That’s all that really matters. =)

Skinned by the Cowboys

2006-09-19T16:33:00.000-04:00

Washington, Carolina fall to 0-2
The injuries to Clinton Portis and Shawn Springs are affecting the Redskins more than anyone could have possibly imagined. Brunell isn’t as light on his feet as he once was. In fact, we hold our breath when he runs for fear that his leg or arm or something might give out. We can’t have a QB like that. And Malk wants props! (Here you go, Jamal). Washington’s preseason Super Bowl hopes further spiraled down the toilet in their 27-10 loss against the Dallas Cowboys (AKA “The Spawn of the Devil.”) The offense continues to look confused as they learn the Al Saunders style of play. And without Shawn Springs, the Redskins D is holier than Swiss Cheese. L-A-M-E. This could be a rocky start to a long season. OR it could be a rocky start to a fantastic run over the next few months. We hope it’s the latter. On the plus side, at least we’re not the Raiders! J

Even though Washingtonians are left with a bad taste in their mouths, the Super Bowl favorites Carolina Panthers are looking even worse, also starting the season off with two losses, this week losing the sluts of Minnesota. We mean…the Vikings. The Panthers offense struggled, with the absence of Steve Smith was surely felt and their defense let the Vikings’ kicker A) Throw the TD to put them ahead and B) Kick the winning field goal. That’s pretty sad.
Big Ben Roethlisberger continues to not catch a break as he plays with the flu, AFTER an appendectomy, AFTER a motorcycle accident – and loses to the Jacksonville Jaguars 9-0. In the words of Tony Kornheiser, “What’s next, he gets pregnant?!”

Meanwhile, the Minnesota Vikings, the New Orleans Saints, and the Atlanta Falcons are 2-0 so far this season. Who’d had thunkit?

From Turnaround to Tragedy
Ron Everhart was brought to Pittsburgh’s Duquesne University to turnaround their ailing men’s basketball, but tragedy struck when a man shot five players after they tried to pacify his behavior at a student union dance. We’re praying for those hurt, their families, and the rest of the Duquesne community. It is sad that schools, once considered a safe haven, continue to be venues of violence.

Booty Booty Booty Booty Rockin’ Everywhere
USC won their 28th straight home game in a row over the 19th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers in John David Booty’s debut at the Coliseum. Sure, USC’s offense isn’t as productive (meaning they scored 28 points instead of, like, 54) without Matt Leinart at the helm and Reggie Bush running circles around hapless defenders. But Booty looked pretty solid at QB throwing 3 TD’s – 2 to Dwayne Jarrett, who got lost among the hype of Leinart, Bush & White last year but is shining this year. With their easy win this week, USC might jump up to number 2 in the college rankings. It looks like another good season for the Trojans…and Fendizzle looks forward to many more Tailgate parties (so much precious free beer…) FIGHT ON!!!!

In other college football news, former national title contenders Notre Dame got SPANKED by Michigan Wolverines. Brady Quinn threw 3 interceptions and the Fighting Irish went down…well, without much of a fight. Uh-oh, are ND’s title hopes and Quinn’s Heisman contention slipping away? We’ll see if they can bounce back. Speaking of bouncing back, Oregon came from behind (albeit controversially) to beat Oklahoma 34-33, scoring the winning TD with a minute left in the game; Louisville dominated the pathetic ‘Canes (L-A-M-E); Florida edged out Tennessee; and in an exciting game (note sarcasm) Auburn edged out LSU…7 to 3. What is this? Baseball? Let those computers of the BCS go crazy!

Stuff we heard about baseball that we don’t really know anything about but felt we should include anyway
The New York Mets clinched the NL East for the first time since 1998. And the Los Angeles Dodgers are in first place in…some division in the west.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREA! MAY YOU GET EXTREMELY KRUNK THIS WEEKEND!

The Curse of Tom Cruise, mmm.VIKINGS... (And other musings)

2006-09-14T08:32:00.000-04:00

We know we promised we wouldn’t go away for so long again….but sports sucked for awhile, so we didn’t feel inspired to write anything. Thankfully, though, fall is here, sports are back and so are we, baby!

The Pigskin
Final score: Minnesota Vikings 19, Washington 16. Not even wings, nachos, and alcohol can console our woes. Oh Al Saunders, are you REALLY worth the $2 million dollars? Laces out, John Hall! (Hall got cut from the JETS – the JETS, people. Shouldn’t that tell you something?) And Dan Snyder, we ALL know you have a man-crush on Tom Cruise! Ok, so the Redskins lost. To a bunch of man whores. Which actually should not be a surprise considering Head Coach Joe Gibbs has never won a Monday Night Football game that opened the season. Good news is, he’s 2-1 in every game after that. Let’s just hope that Clinton Portis’ shoulder holds up, Brunell looks like the Brunell circa early Jacksonville era, and Gregg Williams continues to work his g-g-g-genius on the Redskins’ D. We’ll forgive you IF you beat Dallas next week on Sunday Night Football.

In other NFL news, Tom Brady and company (they are on a mission) came back to beat Buffalo, the Steelers began everyone’s season with a W against Miami (after Diddy’s lame musical performance), Reggie done good and helped the Saints earn a win, and elder brother/comedic genius Peyton triumphed over little brother Eli in the Manning Bowl. And some other teams won and lost too, but frankly we’re lazy and really don’t care about them.

College Football
Well, now that Matt, Reggie and basically all the good players from USC are gone, what’s the point in watching anymore? Oh right. Well WR Dwayne Jarrett is still there. And John David Booty – in the shadow of Leinart for the last few years – stepped into the spotlight and actually looked pretty good in their win over Arkansas. This weekend, they host the Nebraska Cornhuskers (wtf mascot is that?) in their home opener…and Trojan fans can’t wait!

And yes, we know there are other teams in college football besides USC…such as Ohio State, Texas (those bastards!), and the Fighting Irish. And that’s all we have to say about that. Hey – at least we admitted they were good! (You have to let us slowly ease back into this, we’re a bit rusty.)

We’re WILD for the World Cup!

2006-06-29T10:57:00.000-04:00

And Other Various Sports Tidbits

Oh, if we didn’t have jobs…. Then we could be in Germany (official motto: we heart Bratwurst) not cheering on the USA (they’re dead to us until they get their act together in 2010.) The United States may no longer be in contention, but that doesn’t mean we’re not paying attention. In Fenella’s case, how the US did never really mattered because she’s so happy England made it to the last 8!

The Quarterfinals look to be exciting, and filled with historically talented teams that are known for their consistent winning…or their consistent choking. England beat Ecuador when Beckham bent a free kick for a 1-0 victory. England haven’t been playing well in the tournament, but somehow still managed to win. They now face Portugal, who have been chronic underachievers despite their hype as one of the most talented teams in the world. With Deco and Costinha suspended for the game, England might have a chance…even better if Cristiano Ronaldo isn’t 100%.

France is looking like France circa 1998 with a 3-1 win over chokemaster Spain. Poor Spain – yet again they looked strong in qualifying rounds, but can’t seem to win when it counts. In an exciting game, they were beaten by an inspired team led by 3-time World Player of the Year Zinedine Zidane. Allez Les Blues! Zidane, Vieira, Henry (va-va-va-voom) and company will soon play Brazil, who crushed Ghana’s Cinderella dreams 3-0. Props to Ghana for putting up a fight and getting to the round of 16 in their very first World Cup. Meanwhile, an always dazzling Brazil – with Ronaldo’s scoring touch, Ronaldinho’s ball skills and the always fantabulous Bobby C – look to seek revenge in this 1998 World Cup final re-match.

The one goal allowed by Switzerland this tournament is the one that knocked them out, as Ukraine dances on, winning a 0-0 match during penalty kicks. Maybe Kiev really IS dynamo! The Ukraine is up to the challenge against Italy, but let’s face it, Ukraine should really be playing the Socceroos from Down Under. THOSE STUPID DIRTY CHEATING BASTARD ITALIANS!!!! We still heart pasta by the way. And Italians. Just not their soccer team. Or…fascist people.

Finally, in one of the most mouth-watering match-ups of the tournament, powerhouse home team Germany take on powerhouse Argentina (BOOO, Andrea says.) Both teams are playing awesome football, with Maxi Rodriguez scoring perhaps the goal of the tournament over Mexico. Let’s just hope that the Hand of God doesn’t appear again.

The NBA Draft: AKA The Meat Market

Well, now that Gary Peyton, Alonzo Mourning, and Pat Riley got their long, long, loooong awaited rings…they can retire and leave the rest of the NBA in peace. The amazing Dwayne Wade should just get the trophy all to himself. And as for Shaq…well, he’s Shaq, he gets whatever he wants. Now it’s high time for NBA stars of the future to take over…and we can start with the Draft.

Toronto took Italian Andrea Barganani…and then the rest of the teams blessed with high picks couldn’t make up their minds on their pick. Five of the top eight ended up being traded somewhere else. C’mon, guys, didn’t you, like, think it over before you announced it?

Adam Morrison, Sheldon Williams (aka Pekkle) and Rudy Gay were top 10 picks for Charlotte, Atlanta and Houston, respectively (they lucked out). JJ Redick joins fellow unlucky-Duke-player-in-the-NBA Grant Hill on the Magic. Was it a case of a Leinart, losing his stock…or the fact that he’s a big lush who can’t drive that scared teams away?

Our Washington Wizards hope to work some magic this season by adding size to their lineup, as they chose 6’ 11” Olexsiy Pecherov, a Power Forward from the Ukraine in the first round. They kept a similar theme in the second round by selecting 6’ 10” Vladimir Veremeenko from Russia.

This weekend, have fun, stay safe, and Happy Independence Day, America!

Revived from the Dead, Resuscitated, Defibrulated, Well… We’re Just Back, DAMNIT!

2006-06-16T13:43:00.000-04:00

Did your miss our comedic stylings, our sporty incites, our perennial cuteness? We know we sure did! So that’s why we’re back. It’s not that we decided to stop writing the blog, we for some reason, just stopped updated it. We could never figure out why, although here are some educated guesses:

-Fenella and Andrea were hypnotized by those SONIC fast-food commercials.
-Fenella and Andrea got CRAZY busy at work.
-Fenella really wanted her breakfast at the IHOP.
-Andrea glued her hands together.
-Fenella went to strip dancing class (for EXERCISE, you sickos! But if you’re willing to pay the right amount, she MIGHT consider it)
-Andrea got stuck in the bathroom at the Caribou Coffee.
-Fenella and Andrea were too hurt from the pain of Queen James.
-Andrea started Graduate School for Interior Design. And no, she’s not re-designing your living space for free.
-Fenella was busy eating Pinkberry, the most crucialest froyo EVER.
-And the number 10 reason why we think we stopped updating the blog…we have no idea! But we’re sorry….We promise we won’t go away for so long again!

So we’re back, bringing some happiness into our ever-so-crazy lives through the world o’ sport. Seeing that we stopped writing in…January, here’s a quick wrap up of what’s happened since then:

The Super Bowl: In what was arguably the most boring Super Bowl in recent memory (or perhaps EVER), the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Seattle Seahawks to earn the crown of best football team in North America. We think perhaps the highlight of the game was Tom Brady’s coin toss. Can anyone but him take wear a velvet suit and make tossing a coin so…sexy? We won’t let that take away from the awesomeness of the Steelers, the first sixth seeded team to win it all, and a double congrats to The Bus! Our ‘Skins made it all the way to the second round, but we forgot that although defense wins championships, offense wins games. And there was no offense to speak of. Something to work on in the off-season, Mr. Gibbs.

NCAA Playoffs: In also a rather boring final, UCLA got their asses whopped by the University of Florida Thugs (Haha! Fenella says.) It was an exciting tourney, though, with lots of surprises and upsets, including our very own GMU. Hollerrrr! It makes up for a very disappointing tourney for the usually strong ACC. Dry those eyes, JJ – you’ll be fine in the NBA. As long as you don't get another DUI, anyway.

2006 Baseball: It’s back again….and we barely noticed, save for that whole Barry Bonds thing. He’s been trying to beat this little legend named Babe Ruth’s home run record (and Hank Aaron too). As for the O’s and Nats, um, how are they doing?

NFL Draft: Hm. So what exactly were the Texans thinking not drafting Reggie Bush? Some would say, well…they need to build their defense and Mario Williams will be better for them in the long run. But still, we scratch our heads. Oh well. And poor Matt Leinart’s stock went down and was picked 10th, going to the Arizona Cardinals. Not a bad deal, we think, and we applaud the Cards for giving it to him straight about his Hollywood friends and partying ways (Paris Hilton? You could do SO much better.) We’re curious to see how these boys do come September!

NBA Playoffs: Probably the best playoffs in like, forever. So many overtime games, so many last minute game winners, so many one-point games. Of course, it would be far better if said overtime games, last minute game winners and one-point games didn’t come courtesy of Queen James and the Cavs against our Wizards! Boooo. Otherwise, almost every series made it to a Game 6 or 7, and were tightly fought. The Clippers showed everybody who was the now the better team in LA (Clipper Nation baby!) San Antonio lost their crown to the Mavs. Detroit got a run from their money from the Cavs. The Heat overcame their hump and made it the finals for the first time. And of course, we were entertained by post-game analysis by Charles Barkley (Drowned Alive is our favorite). We love this game.

Now, for what’s happening now:

-Unless you’ve been living in a hole (otherwise known was the USA), the World Cup commenced on Friday, June 9 in Germany. The real fun didn’t begin until Saturday, June 10 when England faced Paraguay in a first-round match-up. As Americans, we hope that the United States can meet or exceed their Quarterfinals showing in Japan/South Korea four years ago, but being placed in the second-toughest group in the tournament is not gonna make that road an easy one (especially after losing their first match to the Czech Republic). As for the “elite” teams, Germany should be favored to go far as the home team despite an injury to star Michael Ballack, and the Brazilians always look good, seeing that they always have a new crop of stars at the ready (as “fatty” Ronaldo looks a little…out of shape). As for England (that’s Fendizzle’s team), well, yet again that damned “curse of the metatarsal” hits them, this time putting Wayne Rooney on injured reserved. (Don’t know what a metatarsal is? Ask any English footy fan). Will he recover in time to help England? Will David Beckham lead his team to glory? Then there’s former powerhouse France – what will become of them as Zidane’s last hurrah and va-va-voom Thierry Henry?

Of course, the beauty of the World Cup is that anything can happen – and it usually does! We’ve got World Cup fever, baby…and believe us, there will be some serious compromises made between work and the beautiful game!

-The Miami Heat now the face the b****es of Mark Cuban, AKA the Dallas Mavericks for the NBA Championship. Will Shaq add to his legacy? Will the Mavericks disappoint their passionate owner? Will Alonzo Mourning get a new gall bladder and become the hero of the series? Well, we’d find out…but the World Cup is on!

Entry Number 9

2006-01-13T07:51:00.000-05:00

Flashback to the Redskins circa 5th Grade
Did our eyes deceive us…or did the Washington Redskins actually WIN their playoff game against Tampa Bay? It couldn’t be. Clinton Portis rushed for a total of 53 yards. Mark Brunell passed for 41 yards, and the Redskins offense put up a stellar 122 total offensive yards. The Giants had more offensive yards in their shutout loss to Carolina (which we’ll recap later). But defense wins games, right?

And that our defense did. Our ‘Skins D held the Bucs to 10 points and even helped out the offense by scoring a TD. Overall, a mighty effort by Marcus Washington, LaVar Arrington, and even Sean Taylor (minus the spitting incident)…and this Saturday, we’re facing the Seahawks in Round 2! Hoooray!

All we need is for our offense to get going again. We know you can score. And by score, we don’t mean that in a Minnesota Vikings sexboat kind of way.

This past weekend, playoff experience mattered, as all teams with previous NFL experience won their games easily. While the Redskins were missing for the last five years, it was ultimately Joe Gibbs’ 16-5 record that out-coached a lesser-experienced John Gruden and rookie QB Chris Simms.

Carolina absolutely punished Eli Manning and the Giants, shutting them out 23-0.

New England showed why they won the last 3 out of 4 Super Bowls, holding off the measly Jags for a win. SI Sportsman of the Year Tom Brady led his team to V-I-C-T-O-R-Y once again.

Poor Carson Palmer. On the 2nd play of Cincy’s drive, he tears his ACL and his MCL and is out for…well, we hope not too long. The Bengals gave a commendable effort, but they were no match for Troy Polamalu (SC needed you AND your hair at the Rose Bowl) and the Steel Curtain. Big Ben and company rolled over Cincy 31-17.

I Heart College Basketball
It was also a weekend of upsets, as yet previously undefeated NCAA ball teams fell to their lowly counterparts. Villanova’s undefeated season came to an end as the 2004 Cinderella West Virginia Mountaineers comeback to beat the Wildcats 91-87. Don’t sleep on WVU. The Mountaineers from Morgantown returned their key players from last year: Mike “I heart t-shirts” Gansey, Johann Herber, Patrick “My Daddy is the coach” Beilein, and everyone’s favorite Pittsnogle. They should make a run again in the Big Dance come March.

So who does that leave in the league of the undefeated? #1 Duke (well, DUH!), #2 Florida (Sophomore F-C Joakim Noah is not only talented, but could also enter a Troy Polamalu look-alike contest), and…the #11 Pittsburgh Panthers (stupid Big East!)?! Pitt’s “Are we for real” test will soon come against Rick Pitino and #10 Louisville (pronounced Lou-uh-vul, not Lou-ee-ville).

Happy New Year!

2006-01-06T16:05:00.000-05:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

We’re baaaaaaaaack!!!! Because of the holidays, we Playing the Field Girls (and contributing writer Malk G) took a little break. But now we’re back, and recharged like the Energizer bunny! And as for the holidays, overall they were very good to us in the arena of sports. Here’s a looksee into why:

We’re in the Playoffs!
No really, we’re serious. The Redskins started the season 3-0, then slid to a dismal 5-6, then rallied to end the season 10-6, 5-1 in the NFC East, and a Wild Card playoff spot that put us in the postseason for the first time in 6 years. Amid the wins were a thrashing of Cowboys, redemption from the shut-out loss to the Giants, and another hard-fought win against the Eagles. We’re elated, but not quite sure what to do now. The last time we were good, we rushed to the Best Buy after a high school AP exam to score the latest Backstreet Boys CD!

In a re-match of sorts, we face the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, the team that beat us earlier this season in a last-minute, heartbreaking fashion. We still question Mike Alstott’s two-point conversion that gave Tampa Bay the one-point victory. The Bucs are also the team that put us out of the playoffs way back in ’99. This is our chance for redeem ourselves from both losses. We’ll be cheering our hearts out this weekend, with Andrea’s lucky Redskins cap on!

Wizards Cast a Spell over the Los Angeles Lakers
We, along with Malk G, made a sojourn of sorts to the MCI Center for this matchup. A few weeks back, Fenella witnessed the Lakers hold off the Wizz at the Staples Center, one of four Wizards fans in a sea of purple and yellow. This time around…we were still surrounded by an uncommon amount of purple and yellow at the MCI Center. Except this time, the Wizz held off the Lakers to beat them, 94-91. Hoooray!

Highlights from the game:
-a FREE G Wizz Build-a-Bear (and he DOES have a Gilbert nose!)
-G Wizz’s fly dance moves
- Piña Coladas (which made Fenella fall asleep during half-time)
-Very over-priced, but yummy concessions
-Washington fans booing Kwame “Manchild” Brown every time he touched the ball. And people say Washington fans are TAME!
-Oh, and did we mention we WON?!!!

Pics from the game, comments provided by the very awesome Malk G. Ladies -- love him!

With the game out of reach, Fenella -- in all her clandestineglory -- wipes a giant green booger on the right shoulder of a Lakersfan. As the ball crosses mid court, Ruffin begins to position himselffor a rebound. An intoxicated Andrea passes along pina colada from her teet toanxious, infantile stuffed G-Wizzes.
We're Cuter than You.

Back-to-Back Wins for Texas; Not Everything’s Coming Up Roses for USC
So. Does anybody else think that USC was paid off to lose the Rose Bowl? Because that wasn’t the team we saw beat the crap out of every other team for the last 3 years. Reggie Bush was nowhere to be found, unless he was wearing the number 21 jersey. Way to go, LenDale, for showing up to the game and PLAYING. Matt Leinart looked hungover for most of the game. Perhaps he took one of those RU21 pills at halftime to recover, because he looked significantly better in the second half. He shoulda shared it with his teammates. In fact, the whole team looked like they were recovering from a hangover from celebrating a little bit too early.

Give props to the Longhorns, though. Those boys came to play, and smartly held off the alcohol until AFTER the game. Texas did nothing but expose what WEAK tacklers USC’s defense has. Seriously, you’re gonna let an Asian guy named Ryan Ting rush Vince Young and try to TACKLE him? That’ll work out. (Don’t get us wrong, we love our Asians! Ryan’s twin brother Brandon also plays for SC. Did you not hear us? They’re TWINS!!). Southern Cal let Vince just stroll into the endzone in the final seconds. He walked in there like it was nothing. USC’s secondary was never good in the first place, but geeze, they just sat back and watched the receivers catch virtually every pass that Young, who had all the time in the world from NO PASS RUSH, threw. Granted, there were some calls that didn’t go USC’s way (Vince Young’s lateral when he was down for a touchdown, a fumble that wasn’t called a fumble), but in the end, the Trojans didn’t handle it like they should’ve, and thus, drove Fenella into depression and the drink.

At the Rose Bowl, defense DEFINITELY wins championships. So a begrudging Congrats to UT.

In the other BCS Bowl Games, West Virginia held off a late comeback from Georgia to win the Sugar Bowl; Notre Dame went down fighting against Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl, and Grandpa Joe Paterno can retire, nay, can pass away peacefully, after a long, long, long, long triple overtime win over FSU in the Orange Bowl. Note to FSU & Penn State coaches next season: teach your field goal kickers HOW TO KICK A FIELD GOAL.

Overall, it was an exciting season of college football, right down ‘til the (very painful) end. Now it’s on to college BBall. Farewell BCS…’til next season!

Lucky Seven

2005-12-12T23:43:00.000-05:00

The end of the year is near, and the girls at Playing the Field would like to reflect on the year that was in sports. Here, our list of highlights, lowlights, and props:

HIGHLIGHTS
The Wizards made the playoffs for the first time since 1997…and witnessing Game 5 versus the new-school Chicago Bulls, where the Wiz advanced past the first round in more than 20 years. MONEY!

USC won its second national title – undisputed – in 2005

The Pats won the Super Bowl over choke-artists Philadelphia Eagles yet again, despite competition from rookie Roethlisberger’s Cinderella season.

Tiger Woods back in form, winning the Masters and the British Open.

Reggie Bush’s 513 all-purpose yards against Fresno State, and deservedly winning this year’s Heisman Trophy by a mile. And he has the cutest smile since Antawn Jamison!

Baseball came back to DC – in the form of the Nationals. And they didn’t suck! (We can’t say the same for the aging and ailing RFK Stadium).

Kwame went to the Lakers for Caron Butler and Chucky Atkins. We’re still laughing at how good a deal that was.

UNC’s convincing win over Illy Illinois in the NCAA Championship. ACC…WHAT?!

The evil empires, a.k.a the Los Angeles Lakers & the New York Yankees, sucked…and the world rejoiced.

LOWLIGHTS
The Wizards and the Redskins inconsistency and current slumps. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Giants: 36. Redskins: 0. No reminder needed.

The most boring World Series in history. Won by the Chicago White Sox over the Houston Astros. Yaaaaawn.

The Eagles fall from grace – first the TO incident, McNabb’s gone for the season, and then the 42-0 shutout on Monday Night Football. Yikes, what happened?

The NHL lock-out for the 2004-2005 season. But did anyone really notice? (Ok, ok, Canada, WE HEAR YOU!)

We’d also like to give props to the following individuals & teams for their superb performances this year:

PROPS
The thus far undefeated Colts – finding a way to not just win, but to blow out teams every week. They…could….go…all…the…way (Chris Berman style)!

Pete Carroll & the USC Trojans remain undefeated (34 games and counting), are up for the third national title in three years, and produce another Heisman Trophy winner (third in four years). UNSTOPPABLE.

The Minnesota Vikings turnaround – their sexboat scandal, their lameness, the loss of star QB Daunte Culpeper – it was all going downhill. Then they win six games in a row, and are playoff contenders.

The Cincinnati Bengals securing their first winning season since the early 90’s (we’re still scratching our heads). We give most of the credit to USC alum Carson Palmer, Head Coach (and former Redskin Defensive Coordinator) Marvin Lewis, and Chad “I Wanna Be Tiger Woods and Marry a Cheerleader” Johnson.

Tedy Bruschi coming back from a stroke to help the Pats go back on top of the AFC East.

The MP3 himself -- Steve Nash, coming out of nowhere to lead his team to the Western Conference Finals and winning NBA MVP Honors. The Suns are shining in Phoenix!

Balenciaga and Basketball, Football and Fendi – Our Take on Having the Best of Both Worlds…And a Manifesto of Sorts on Why We Like Sports
As you have kept track of our blog through the…weeks, you may have asked yourself:

"Self? How are these girls extremely attractive AND extremely knowledgeable in sports? Self, are they for real? Or merely a dream...and in several hours, I will awake from my REM and find myself next to say, Bob Dole trying to canoodle with me...."

Well as for the attractive part, we have our Filipino (It’s like Asian, with a Swoosh!) parents to thank, the fact that we are shopaholics and actually dress…girly, we blame this consumer-obsessed society of ours, and Kate Moss wearing those boots that we MUST have. For the sports part, well, we’d like to offer a “Hellooooo, welcome to the 21^st Century!” In an era where women can vote (for decades now), are political leaders, executives, broadcasters, and yes, athletes, is it so impossible for a girl to merely like sports?

Today, if you look in the stands of any sporting match, you’ll find a fair share of females there. Yes, there will be some accompanying their boyfriends and husbands. But for the most part, they (and we know this because we are those girls) know their shiz. You could strike up a conversation about the zone defending, the off-sides rule, fantasy teams and draft picks.

Well, you say, then what’s all this mumbo jumbo about cute smiles, tight asses and ripped abs? We reply, “Added bonus, my friends, added bonus.” What red-blooded female wouldn’t appreciate Tom Brady’s bum in those pants? Even better, what red-blooded sports-loving female wouldn’t appreciate Tom Brady throwing 360 yards and 2 touchdowns in those pants? Tight ass plus tight skills equals HOT STUFF. Don’t tell us you men haven’t checked out Maria Sharapova or Jenny Finch.

Continuing on, if ever the chance we get to meet Tom Brady, wouldn’t it only be logical to present ourselves in a lovely and pretty manner? Hence, why we spend our money on Jimmy Choos and Rock & Republics, and get facials and manicures. (It is possible to get a manicure and catch Monday Night Football. We’ve done it. Better yet, wouldn’t it be money if we could get a manicure WHILE watching MNF?!) If we don’t meet Tom Brady, well then we look cute and feel good anyway, for ourselves and for those guys who aren’t quite Tom Brady caliber, but whose bums still look good in pants.

We spend as much money on a pair of Seven jeans as we do on tickets to watch the Wizards in the playoffs (and yes, jeans REALLY DO cost that much). We spend equal amounts of time dancing in the club with our girls as we do eating Buffalo Wings and watching March Madness at a bar with our homies. We alternate between watching the Style Network (because it’s important to know what not to wear) and ESPN SportsCenter (because it’s important to know who’s been traded to where). We like to think it makes us…well-rounded. After all, if it weren’t for sports, what would guys and girls have in common? No, this isn’t a rhetorical question…WE REALLY HAVE NO IDEA!

Week Six

2005-12-05T15:27:00.000-05:00

Washington Rams St. Louis into the ground
Do our eyes deceive us, or did the Redskins actually come away with a win this week?! Washington picked up their first W in a month on the road in STL, beating the Rams 24-9. We finally scored in the fourth quarter and held onto our lead for a change. Looks like rookie QB Ryan Fitzpatrick and his fancy pants Harvard degree couldn’t outsmart with what seemed to be an ailing Redskins defense, holding him and the rest of the St. Louis offense to a season worst 210 yards. Washington’s Chris Cooley (AKA the most underrated member of the Redskin offense) clinched the win with a 4-yarder from Mark Brunell. Hardly anyone’s been paying attention to Cooley this season, and we don’t understand why. Perhaps he should pull a Clinton Portis and appear in interviews dressed as a rodeo clown…

Everything’s Coming Up Roses for the Cardinal and Gold
Fight on for ol' SC, Our men fight on to victory, Our Alma Mater dear, looks up to you Fight on and win For ol' SC , Fight on to victory, FIGHT ON!

What was hyped to be a close game between LA crosstown rivals UCLA Bruins and USC Trojans, ended up being nothing but a severe ass-whooping as USC beat up the Bruins 66-19. USC didn’t just cover the 21-point spread, they doubled it. It was such a fantabulous flogging, SC pulled their starters in the third quarter to save some of UCLA’s dignity (Classy move, Pete).

Pete Carroll and offensive coordinator Lane Kiffin had a simple but genius game plan: give the ball to tailback extraordinaire Reggie Bush (averaging 212 yards this season), and let him go to town against one of the worst run defense in college football (UCLA was giving up 220 rush yards per game). Reggie racked up 100-plus yards (and, we believe, the Heisman Trophy) in the first quarter. With the help of another season 1,000-yarder LenDale White, SC put it to the Blue and Gold, as they went over 300 yards rushing for the fifth time in the ’05 season.

In his last hurrah at the Coliseum, Matt Leinart went missing for most of the game (21-40, 0-5 at the start of the game), but still managed to throw some TDs, and make one crucial catch (Did you see that play? It was something you try out on the playground. “Hey, Matt, make a run for the trash can, Reggie will hand it off to Dwayne, who’ll fake left towards the parking lot, and then pass it you. It’ll be awesome!” The Bruins defense got SO served.) Sorry, UCLA…time to concentrate on basketball.

And speaking of ass-whooping, how ‘bout them Longhorns? Vince Young and his Texas squad barreled over the Buffalo of Colorado in the Big 12 Championship, 70-3. 70 points?! What is this, basketball?! With those convincing wins, Texas will meet USC for the national title at the Rose Bowl in January. The BCS got it right this year, pitting the definite two best (shown in their undefeated records and offensive prowess) teams in college football against each other. It’s gonna be a gooood game. For real.

In a round-up of bowl games, Notre Dame makes its return into the BCS in Fiesta Bowl against Ohio State; the two winningest coaches in college football (Penn State’s Joe Paterno and FSU’s Bobby Bowden) face each in the Orange Bowl; and the newly relocated Sugar Bowl sees Georgia taking on West Virginia. Nobody will ever really be happy with the BCS (Oregon for one), but all we really care about is the mouth-watering title game in January.

(And can I add a pet peeve? It’s at 8PM Eastern Time on a Thursday. Meaning 5PM Pacific time. Helloooo good broadcasting people, your biggest SC fanbase – Los Angeleans – are still at work at that time. Screw catering to the East Coast, what about us?)

**Once again, it’s Malk G in the place to be, as our favorite Halloween Wal-Mart Greeter writes about the Hokies and Dukies squeaker in Durham (We’re like a poet, and don’t even know it!).

God is a Duke University Alum
By Malk G, Contributing Writer
Last night, I witnessed what could have been the first major upset of this infantile college basketball season. The Virginia Tech Hokies, bottom-feeding crayfish of the ACC, battled with Duke until the bitter, stinking end. While Duke launched its patented hot shot 3-pointer barrage, the Hokies remained poised, managing to get the ball into their bigs and cause turnovers. JJ Redick, Duke’s beloved baby-faced gunner, saw his game struggle until late in the contest; Shelden Williams’ forehead grew in size, and Greg Paulus got shoved into a camera crew – all enough to make the Cameron Crazies nearly brown themselves.

The game remained a see saw battle for the latter portion of the second half. Before then, I sat on my bed waiting for the Devils to pull away as expected, so I could finally turn the channel and finish my bowl of chili. It never happened. The lumpy-headed, All-Gym first-teamers of Tech slugged it out until the closing seconds when it pulled ahead by a point. With 1.6 seconds remaining and Duke having to travel the length of the floor to even get a look at the basket, I called my friend, convinced that a great depression was about to consume all of Durham, NC. My bed was soaked in pre-mature celebration.
Then, the unthinkable happened . . .

God appeared in the stands, adorned in a long, flowing blue and white robe, which looked strangely like an old Christian Laettner jersey. Duke inbounded the ball from ‘neath Tech’s basket, it reached Sean Dockery, and God – yes, God – reached his mammoth hands under Dockery’s tiny armpits and helped him fling the ball. What followed was a nearly impossible make as time expired. A sea of blue swarmed the floor and Tech players got helplessly tossed around in the madness like that little ball thing inside of spray paint cans. I’ll admit, it was an amazing shot, but the evil side of me wanted Duke to have a giant orange and brown stain on its record heading into this weekend’s match up with #2 Texas. Foiled!

This all reminds me of my senior year of college, during which Indiana knocked off the Dukies on their way to a championship game berth. My girlfriend at the time was a senior at Duke and, boy, did everyone in my apartment that night call her and let her have it. She had every right to break up with me, because, had the tables been turned, I would have made every effort to drive my car into her living room. Next time, I guess. The season is young, there’s mono to be spread, and, certainly, there’s plenty of blue hate running through my veins.

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah!
It’s that time of year again! Season’s Greetings from the girls at Playing the Field! Everyone’s got a wishlist this December, even us! Here’s what we’re hoping to score during the holidays.

Fenella
1. SC wins its third national title
2. An Audi A4 (to replace Chingy, my currently beat-up Nissan Sentra)
3. Matt Leinart goes to the Redskins in next year’s draft (Can you imagine the crucialness of that?)
4. Witnessing the Lakers lose in a blowout to the Wizards at the Staples Center and MCI Center
5. Shoes. All kinds. And lots of ‘em
6. Andrea visits me in LA
7. That, for once, Fox & CBS on the west coast show good football games instead of the lame-ass 49ers or Raiders.
8. Redskins make the playoffs (but that’s only if they can’t get Leinart)
9. A vacation. A REAL one. Far far far away.
10. You comment on our blog. Leave a message dammit!

Andrea
1. World Peace. Because it’s a nice thing to wish for, DAMNIT!
2. Juicy Couture earrings
3. An over .500 record for the Redskins for this season
4. For Fenella to kick Kwame “Manchild” Brown in the shins
5. Juicy Couture anything, really, lol
6. Friends-The Complete Tenth Season on DVD
7. For Bill Walton and Terry Bradshaw to stop talking
8. For Marissa and Ryan of The O.C. to stay together
9. Marc Jacobs Courtney Large Hobo in Raisin (like I would EVER get this, it’s like a BAJILLION dollars! But it’s PERFECT!)
10. For you to enjoy reading our blog!

Hi-FIVE

2005-11-29T14:24:00.000-05:00

It’s Just Emotion, That’s Takin’ Me Over…
The joy (or perhaps curse) of being a fan of Washington teams is that you take disappointment in stride because it happens so often, and therefore end up really cherishing every win. We think, however, it’s getting to a little too much of an emotional rollercoaster (hence the Bee Gees reference above).

The Wizards followed their fantabulous win over the Spurs with a 5-game losing streak against mediocre teams, at best. Larry knew the Wiz offense like the back of his hand, so he, boy wonder Lebron, and the rest of the Cavaliers ran them into the ground. But what’s their excuse for the Timberwolves, Nets, Nuggets and Magic? Of course, just as we were down in the dumps, they grab an amazing, nail-biting win in Detroit city in double overtime, 120-114. We put the brakes on the Pistons, two-time NBA finalists. Then what happens two days later? They lose to the Bobcats. The BOBCATS!

Not only does that leave us scratching our heads, but it also gives us some emotional pain. C’mon Gilbert & company, save us from this rollercoaster and give us some consistency!

And speaking of consistency (NOT), how ‘bout those 5-6 Redskins? Washington just can’t seem to hold onto a win, as we dropped another one to L.T. and the San Diego Chargers this past Sunday, 23-17. San Diego had 17 unanswered points in their victory. Our defense, which was once our saving grace, has now officially fallen apart, even with LaVar Arrington back. We couldn’t even lose with the dignity of a field goal in overtime. Nooo, we had to deal with humiliation of a touchdown on, like, the second play. How pathetic! This was the second week in a row where a former Washington coach rolled into FedEx Field and got the W against their former team (Norv Turner and his Oakland Raiders beat the Redskins the week before). To this we say…BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You’re making it hard for us, but we still heart you, Redskins. Because we have to!

Westwood vs. South Central
Rivalry weekend in college football may be over, but the biggest one of all (at least in our humble opinion) is this Saturday when the Bruins of UCLA (or “the enemy” as Fenella frequently refers to them) take on the two-time national champion Trojans of USC. It’s set to be a great game where the PAC-10 title and LA bragging rights are on the line. If – excuse us, WHEN - USC wins, they’re a lock for the BCS Championship Game at the Rose Bowl (ironically, UCLA’s home field – ouch). UCLA’s playing for a BCS bowl trip.

Since Fenella is a USC alum and thus, brainwashed into a crazy Trojan fan, her take on this is reduced to “UCLA SUCKS, TROJANS RULE. GO USC!” This game is SO important to her that she told her boss she couldn’t work an event on Saturday because she had to watch the game (priorities, people, priorities). Perhaps Andrea can provide better insight into this PAC-10 match-up…

Andrea says: The City of Angels isn’t big enough for two powerhouse college football teams. This Saturday, one team will prove who remains supreme (Iron Chef, ha ha!). Southern California’s performance this year has been no surprise – with Heisman Trophy-winner Matt Leinart (cutie patootie!) having an even better season than last year, and Reggie Bush looking to be the second Trojan in a row to garner Heisman honors. What is a little more startling is the Bruins bouncing back from their 6-6-season in ‘04 to go 9-1 thus far. Well…it does help to have Marcedes Lewis, one of the top Tight Ends in college football, and Heisman candidate Maurice Drew as TB.
So who will win the matchup? Both squads have had some quality non-conference wins (Bruins against Fresno State and the Trojans against Fresno State and Notre Dame), but SC has the slight edge, because the Blue and Gold’s lone loss came from Arizona (and boy do THEY suck!), where they got trampled in Tuscon, 52-14. For that reason, I favor Southern California this Saturday.

Big Ben versus P Mann: Roethlisberger’s Rusty Return to the Field in a 26-7 Loss to Indianapolis
The bubble had to burst at some point. What was a freak, Cinderella rookie season for Ben Roethlisberger last year is no more. He returned to football on Monday after being out for three weeks from having arthroscopic knee surgery, and the horse and carriage that carried the Steelers to an AFC Championship game has now turned back into a pumpkin. Indianapolis had been labeled as a finesse team so many times they could endorse shampoo (Women of the world, say farewell to flat hair!). But the Colts played tough against the Steelers (nine tackles from 5’8” Bob “Tiny Tim” Sanders), and Peyton “D CAF” Manning continued to show his excellent management skills on the field. The tone of the game was pretty much set when Indy scored on the first play of their first possession. Yikes!

And how ‘bout them Colts, eh? They’ve got Tennessee, Jacksonville, San Diego, Seattle and Arizona left on their schedule. Can one of these teams upset them, or are the Colts on their way to an undefeated season?

With the absence of Laguna Beach, Andrea missed the first half of the game and went to the mall instead. She does regret it but…LOOK HOW SHINY!

Things We're Thankful "Four"

2005-11-21T16:08:00.000-05:00

Happy Turkey Day everyone! We hope you’re parked on your butt in front of the television watching football and eating copious amounts of food, because we sure are! Since it is a holiday, we decided to take a break from our analysis of the goings-on in the arena that is Sports and recognize how fortunate we are.

Things We’re Thankful “Four”
1. ACC Basketball. Such a storied history, particularly with the teams of Tobacco Road: Duke, North Carolina, and the often underestimated NC State. Now with the addition of Big East defects Boston College and Miami (okay, the ‘Canes don’t exactly count because they’re really a football school), there is no tougher (and better) conference in college basketball.
2. Contributing writer Malk G. Huzzah!
3. Wizznutzz.com. Best Wizards fan site EVER! And they heart our blog too!
4. Joe Gibbs back as the head coach of the Washington Redskins, and taking us out of our eternal “rebuilding” year. GIBBS, baby, GIBBS!
5. The undefeated Trojans of So Cal. It makes living in LA that much more bearable for Fendizzle. Will Reggie Bush be the second USC player in a row to take the Heisman Trophy?
6. Chicken wings. Cuz there’s nothing better than eating them wings and watching football. Mmmmm….VIKINGS!
7. ESPN – Pardon the Interruption RULES!
8. The Kwame Brown-Caron Butler/Chucky Atkins trade. Have fun dealing with Kwame on your team Jerry & Phil. Suckas!
9. One Tree Hill and The O.C. We love the drama on our…primetime dramas.
10. Having a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food in our stomachs. Others aren’t as fortunate. C’mon, you didn’t think we were that shallow, did ya?
11. For two years in a row, we’re better than the Knicks & the Lakers.
12. The holidays – because Andrea & Fenella can see each other finally! Reunited…and it feels so good!
13. You. Yes, you reading this. We hope you heart our blog! Leave a comment! OR ELSE (wink wink, nudge nudge).

We got many responses (both good & bad) and suggestions for Round 2 of our Fantasy Boy Draft, and we thank you for them! Read on to see who made it to this round.

Fantasy Boy Draft Round 2

1. Jarkko of Wizznutzz. Not only is he a part of the crucialest Wizards fan site EVER, but he also has the sexiest beard this side of the Atlantic. Rrrrr baybee Rrrrrrrrrrr!

2. Peyton Manning. Colts Record: 10-0. QB Rating: 104.6. NFL MVPs: 2. Comedic Genius (as demonstrated in his MasterCard Commercials): Priceless. There’s nothing hotter than a sense of humor.

3. Shane Battier. Because he is hot and Duke was awesome. AND the Grizzlies are on a four-game winning streak – it’s Electric! (Woogie woogie woogie)
4. Antawn Jamison. Because he didn’t desert us like Larry, and because when he smiles, he lights up the entire MCI Center. Awwww….

5. Thierry Henry. We could watch this French footy player glide around the soccer field allll day long. Très beau!

6. Reggie Bush. Running back extraordinaire, Heisman candidate, USC Trojan. ‘Nuff said.

7. Champ Bailey. Okay, so we lost him in the trade for Clinton Portis and such. But…awww! What a cutie!

8. Joe (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) in Bend It Like Beckham. We don’t blame Jess and Jules fighting over their fine soccer coach. We’d do the same!

9. Theo Epstein. Anyone who could both break the curse of the Red Sox AND compete with Tom Brady for the title of “Hottest Man in Boston” deserves to be on the list.

10. Chris Webber/Eric Montross. CWebb was Fenella’s high school love, and Andrea had a crush on the former UNC center in seventh grade.

Honorable Mentions:
Brian Westbrook – Hometown boy, just missed our draft…but we give him mad props

Carson Palmer – Another Trojan, but not quite round 2 material

Paul Hamm – Fenella’s not sold on this one

The Rock – Andrea thinks he’s too muscly; plus was WWE really a sport?

David Carr – Pretty boy QB of the Texans needs to do a little more than look hot

Derek Jeter/Mike Mussina/Tiki Barber – They’d be included in our draft if they didn’t play for the great evils…we mean, for the Yankees & Giants, respectively

Have a safe and happy holiday!

Week Three

2005-11-15T20:53:00.000-05:00

Mmmm…Vikings! Minnesota Belittles New York Giants…. And Don’t Even Get Us STARTED on the Redskins

It seemed like Eli Manning was coming of age. We started to think that the Giants were going to be the team to beat in the NFC East (BOOOO). And then the Minnesota Vikings pulled out a squeaker at the Meadowlands, 24-21. How did they win?! The Vikings were in contention for lamest team in the NFL. They had more points than total offensive yards by the end of the first quarter, but they still managed to stay ahead. What did Minnesota do – bring their sexboat to the swampland that is East Rutherford and loan it to the Giants as a distraction?!

Perhaps not. Granted, the Giants went down fighting, tying it up in the waning moments. But we have to give some props to the Vikings: particularly Darren Sharper and his 92-yard interception/touchdown, which helped give the Vikings momentum. Revenge is sweet, ain’t it?

The Giants loss meant that the Redskins had a chance to tie for first place in the competitive NFC East. Of course, since this is the Redskins, they never make it easy for their fans. In fact, they make it downright heartbreaking. Clinton Portis had a great game, rushing for over 100 yards by halftime, and Ledell Betts had an awesome kick-off return to put the ‘Skins back in the game. But key turnovers and a defense that, we suppose, sucked because they were missing Sean Taylor, negated all the offensive efforts. How could Lavar Arrington, Marcus Washington, and company let a measly 25-year-old who looks like Russell Crowe’s sidekick in A Beautiful Mind kick their ass? Were they afraid Russ would come out and kick their ass? This game was definitely worse than the Giants shutout. Oh, the horror!

Seattle loses its Sonic Boom in Washington, then the Wizards Beat a Team that’s ACTUALLY Good
Washington outlasts…the other Washington team as the Wizards spank the Sonics at home, 137-96. They scored 71 points by halftime. We didn’t know that was even possible! Okay, so Seattle sizucks, but the Wizz set an MCI Center record! Huzzah!

They followed that by beating an actual legitimate NBA team, the San Antonio Spurs, 110-95. Gilbert shot like 99.9% from the field (okay, he was 15 for 20, and made his first eleven shots) and scored 43 points. The Wizz D held Tim Duncan (who sucked ass anyway) to 11 points. Andrea may have been living in a box for 24 hours, because this accomplishment somehow escaped her. As it stands, the Wizards are first in the Southeast Division of the Eastern Conference, and…do our eyes deceive us…have the second best record in the NBA!!! Hollerrr! Keep up the good work, boys!

Fantasy Boy Draft
Andrea was watching One Tree Hill last week when she thought, “WE [Playing the Field] should have a Fantasy Boy Draft too!” She wanted to include “real” guys as well as famous ones, but was vetoed by Fenella because she “hates all [real] guys that aren’t related to [her]” (by blood, she is required to love her brothers).

So here are our picks for Round One of our Fantasy Boy Draft, and to all you guys out there, please prove to her that there is SOME shred of humanity left in this world! (Fenella scoffs and says, “ha, good luck on that one”)

ROUND 1

1. Tom Brady. Need we say more? We’d be Identity Theft Assistance for him any day ;)

2. Emeka Okafor. This Charlotte Bobcat has the three B’s: Brains, Brawn, and Booty. Who graduates from a major university in three years, with honors, leads him team to the NCAA championship, AND is hot?!

3. Matt Leinart. Because, as Fenella is quick to point out, he’s the Heisman Trophy-winning, two-time (soon to be three) national champion QB of the best team in college football. And he’s not bad-looking either.

4. David Beckham. Oh those skills…and those legs…and that bum. As long as we don’t hear him speak – he sounds like a Kindergartener. Fingerpainting anyone?

5. Tiger Woods. When Andrea was in high school, she used to call herself Mrs. Andrea Woods-Richardson (because she was gonna marry Tiger and Kevin from the Backstreet Boys).

6. Stat Boy from PTI, also known as Around the Horn moderator Tony Reali. Because a guy who can correct the two greatest sports journalists EVER (Washington’s own Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon) on a regular basis scores extra points with us! Dreamy…

7. J.J. Reddick. ACC – WHAT?!

8. Nathan Scott (James Lafferty) from OTH. Included on the list because A) he plays basketball on this teen primetime drama; B) Said drama is the inspiration of this draft; C) Boy is FINE….Why did Haley leave him? WHY?!

9. Michael Owen. The other soccer hottie mctottie from the UK. Don’t you just wanna pinch his cheeks?! The ones on his face, you sickos!

10. Andy Roddick. We don’t know much about tennis (other than he’s really good), or about him (other than he’s really hot). In the words of ex Mandy Moore, “I wanna be with you!”

Week Numero Dos

2005-11-09T08:34:00.000-05:00

Raptors and Knicks and Magic – OH MY!
Holler! The Wizards are 3-0! The last time the Wizz started 3-0, they were called the Bullets AND it was the last time they were in the NBA Finals. All signs point to a MONEYYY season!!

Granted, the Raptors, Magic and Knicks aren’t much of a challenge, but we like all our wins. We’ll revel in it, but we won’t get too carried away just yet…

We know we shouldn’t compare, but case in point: The beginning of the NFL Season, the Redskins started 3-0. The last time the ‘Skins started 3-0, they won the Super Bowl. It’s too soon to get our hopes up. But those stats are pretty comforting.

On another note, did Etan Thomas have a foray into soap opera acting in a previous life?

Keith Hamilton Cobb, AKA "Noah" from All My Children

Etan Thomas

Okay, perhaps not. But the both of them look like they could audtion for Milli Vanilli if they ever decided to make a comeback. They both have that perfect hair. Girl, you know it's true!

My Credit Card Commercial is Better than Yours
The Colts broke their 10-year Foxborough curse by kicking the Pats ass on Monday Night Football, 40-21. The game was SO good, that Andrea forgot to watch the latest episode of Laguna Beach! Peyton Manning and his Colts were just too much for New England. Poor Tom Brady looked devastated by the 4th Quarter…he looked like he’d rather be shooting a Visa Commercial than watch the rest of this game. Oh well, at least he’s hot.

Speaking of credit card commercials, we give Peyton Manning props for the best MasterCard Commercial EVER. His “Let’s Go Insurance Adjusters, Let’s Go” and “D-CAF! D-CAF” commercials are priceless. It’s only a matter of time before he makes a cameo in a comedy (like Dan Marino and Brett Favre before him) except his comedic stylings are genius.

Hail to the Redskins! Hail Victory!
The ‘Skins redeemed themselves with a hard-fought, well-deserved win over the Eagles on Sunday, 17-10. Brunell was crucial, and the defense had a phenomenal game, topped off by an interception at the goal line in the dying seconds. Hey, we’re just happy we’re not in last place in the NFC East. Would Washington have won if T.O. (we’ll get to him in a bit) played for the Eagles? Maybe, maybe not. The Eagles have McNabb (whom despite our intense hatred for the Eagles, we have the utmost respect for) and had a decent performance from Reggie Brown (who for sure will have to step it up now that Owens is out for good). The fact that we came out on top is still an accomplishment that should be heralded.

T.O. and his permanent Time Out from the Philadelphia Eagles
Terrell “Temper Tantrum” Owens is done with the Eagles, as Andy Reid suspended him for the remainder of the season. He apologized profusely, but it’s WAY too little too late. What a bonehead. Like THAT’s gonna win him points now. Hopefully Reid also suspended T.O. for possession of a really ugly-ass car. Have you SEEN his Range Rover?! If you’re gonna spend all that money on a motor vehicle, make sure it doesn’t look like a metallic pumpkin. Andrea would rather drive a Gremlin. We tried to find pictures of T.O. driving the thing, but none exist because they scare the photographers away. While we’re at it, get a new agent too. Drew Rosenhaus has to be the sleaziest man alive and should have his mouth superglued shut.

We like to give others a voice too. Welcome MALK G, Playing the Field’s contributing writer! We let him make a guest appearance because he was a WAL MART Greeter for Halloween, which we believe is the crucialest costume ever.

Chasing Larry's Child: My Man-Crush on David Lee
By Malk G, Contributing Writer

New York Knicks forward David Lee warms my heart like the bun of a Nathan's hot dog. There's something magical about the way the pasty brunette runs the floor with great ease, sweating until his brow displays letter J-shaped locks slicked hair. If I could have just one moment t-- . . .

Ah, I'm already off topic.

In the dark days of the Knicks' 0-3 dismal start, and the newly formed rift between Stephon Marbury and coach Larry Brown, Lee may be one of the team's few bright spots. Part of a triumvirate of rookies, Lee went largely ignored by Brown, being placed on the inactive list for the first two games of the season, despite an impressive preseason. It was his play, however, during last Sunday's game against Golden State that wowed fans and casual onlookers alike. Attentive like a wee lad in front of a T.V., I watched Lee string together dazzling passes, low post moves, and off-the-ball movement. When he navigated through the lane to throw down a thunderous dunk, my heart palpitated. It was as if everyone all at once began wondering, where's this guy been?

Unfortunately, Lee's solid game was overshadowed by another Knicks loss. The team failed to execute down the stretch, Brown's substitution pattern became very peculiar, and Jamal Crawford reverted to true backyard hoop form. To make matters worse, the Knicks were once again booed off the floor. Despite it all, I was still able to revel in what could be an integral part of New York's reconstruction. That evening, I lay down on my bed, dreaming of Lee tossing his soiled jersey into my arms. I wonder if he has a date for the winter formal?

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Thank you Jamal! Hey, doesn’t David Lee look like he could be on a teen primetime drama/reality show? Put a Hollister shirt on him, play some acoustical music, and make him look pensive!

2005-11-03T22:50:00.000-05:00

The Wizz

2005-11-03T18:43:00.000-05:00

A Magical Season for the Wizards?

The Wiz began the 2005-06 NBA season with a squeaker in Toronto. Didn’t another DC team start the season in a 3-point squeaker? What happened to them? Oh, right, they got shut out by the 31^st-ranked defense in the league…. If the Wizards are planning on building on the magic from last year, they best start learning how to make free throws. 54% team effort ain’t gonna cut it, boys. Even Shaq shoots better than that. We can’t take more embarrassing heartaches from more than one team at a time.

This year looks promising, though. We’ve lost some good peeps (Larry, how could you?!) and some bad (go to the West Coast Evil Empire where you belong!) and we’ve got some new additions (I’m sorry you had to endure the Kobe madness at Fox Hills Mall in March, Caron. I was there. I felt your pain.) So as long as Gilbert doesn’t get a big ego and shares the ball and has more “on” days than “off” and…oh, there’s a lot of things the Wiz need to work on to have a repeat stellar year. At any rate, we’ve got our Wizards jerseys on and we’re ready for the season!

We’d also like to give props to Tom Tolbert for using the adjective “money” to describe Rasheed Wallace’s shooting range in Detroit’s win over Philly. AND the fantabulous people at Wizznutzz for leaving eProps on our Xanga's (you made our day). We HEART you!

A Giant Effort…but not from the Redskins

0. Nothing. Zip. Zilch. Nada. The Redskins came up scoreless against the Giants on Sunday. We don’t get it. They were doing so well, even in their losses. And we’d like to think that they weren’t so stupid as to think that this game would be a walkover like their previous win over the lame-ass 49ers. We know Joe Gibbs knew better. So what happened? We hope it was just an incredibly improbable fluke, caused by the death of Giants owner Wellington Mara. It is so ridiculously impossible that a team with the defense of the Giants could hold an offense like the Redskins to 125 total yards and scoreless.

Wonder how the game would’ve turned out if Wellington Mara hadn’t died and his spirit weren’t causing fumbles, missed catches, and stupid fouls. Maybe Mara borrowed some of Steinbrenner’s evil spiritual minions for help because, seriously, the Giants defense was that bad coming into last Sunday. His team does share the city with them, and it would explain the pure evilness. We can only hope that it was a case of the East Coast Evil Empire exerting its powers cuz the ‘Skins have Philly, Tampa Bay and San Diego coming up. And to stay competitive in the NFC East, they cannot afford to lose like that for the rest of the season. Or EVER AGAIN.

Second-hottest guy in Boston resigns as GM of the Red Sox

Boy wonder Theo Epstein grew tired of Beantown, and stepped down as General Manager of the Boston Red Sox. Guess his relationship with mentor and Red Sox owner Larry Lucchino wasn’t as rosy as it seemed. Perhaps jealousy of Epstein’s lack of a receding hairline caused Epstein’s out, as Lucchino jockeys (albeit unsuccessfully) for being known as Boston’s second-hottest guy, behind New England Patriots QB Tom “I Could Be a GQ Model” Brady. Sure, Epstein made some controversial moves (trading uber-adored Nomar, preventing Kevin Millar from going to Japan, etc.), but he brought Boston joy by breaking “The Curse” and bringing the city a World Series championship. Goodbye Theo, hottie mctottie… Please come back to baseball!

USC Trojans on top of the BCS

This week the BCS started working again, and USC is back on top in the rankings. We’ll admit, we don’t fully understand how the BCS works, but if the computers had watched SC crush Wash State this past weekend, and every other team every other weekend for that matter, they wouldn’t have to do any computing. They’d just know. Stupid computers.

Bitch from Laguna Beach dated Matt Leinart?!

And speaking of USC, it turns out that Kristin Cavallari, the girl everyone loves to hate on MTV’s Laguna Beach, really DID date USC QB Matt Leinart! The worst part of it is that she didn’t even know who he was – she had to look him up on the Internet! Okay, so those who don’t follow college football probably don’t know who Matt Leinart is. We can forgive them. But the girl wanted to go to USC. She goes to USC NOW. And she lives in Southern California, where there is no professional football team, leaving SC football to be THE team to follow. The Trojans have almost Redskin-like status in SoCal, except they, like, win a lot. We assume she probably didn’t appreciate the fact that the tall, dark and handsome she was seeing was only the Heisman trophy-winning, two-time national champion QB of the BEST TEAM IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL. We value your accomplishments, Matt. The only thing Kristin values is her instant fame and her new Beamer SUV.