Week Three

Mmmm…Vikings! Minnesota Belittles New York Giants…. And Don’t Even Get Us STARTED on the Redskins

It seemed like Eli Manning was coming of age. We started to think that the Giants were going to be the team to beat in the NFC East (BOOOO). And then the Minnesota Vikings pulled out a squeaker at the Meadowlands, 24-21. How did they win?! The Vikings were in contention for lamest team in the NFL. They had more points than total offensive yards by the end of the first quarter, but they still managed to stay ahead. What did Minnesota do – bring their sexboat to the swampland that is East Rutherford and loan it to the Giants as a distraction?!

Perhaps not. Granted, the Giants went down fighting, tying it up in the waning moments. But we have to give some props to the Vikings: particularly Darren Sharper and his 92-yard interception/touchdown, which helped give the Vikings momentum. Revenge is sweet, ain’t it?

The Giants loss meant that the Redskins had a chance to tie for first place in the competitive NFC East. Of course, since this is the Redskins, they never make it easy for their fans. In fact, they make it downright heartbreaking. Clinton Portis had a great game, rushing for over 100 yards by halftime, and Ledell Betts had an awesome kick-off return to put the ‘Skins back in the game. But key turnovers and a defense that, we suppose, sucked because they were missing Sean Taylor, negated all the offensive efforts. How could Lavar Arrington, Marcus Washington, and company let a measly 25-year-old who looks like Russell Crowe’s sidekick in A Beautiful Mind kick their ass? Were they afraid Russ would come out and kick their ass? This game was definitely worse than the Giants shutout. Oh, the horror!

Seattle loses its Sonic Boom in Washington, then the Wizards Beat a Team that’s ACTUALLY Good
Washington outlasts…the other Washington team as the Wizards spank the Sonics at home, 137-96. They scored 71 points by halftime. We didn’t know that was even possible! Okay, so Seattle sizucks, but the Wizz set an MCI Center record! Huzzah!

They followed that by beating an actual legitimate NBA team, the San Antonio Spurs, 110-95. Gilbert shot like 99.9% from the field (okay, he was 15 for 20, and made his first eleven shots) and scored 43 points. The Wizz D held Tim Duncan (who sucked ass anyway) to 11 points. Andrea may have been living in a box for 24 hours, because this accomplishment somehow escaped her. As it stands, the Wizards are first in the Southeast Division of the Eastern Conference, and…do our eyes deceive us…have the second best record in the NBA!!! Hollerrr! Keep up the good work, boys!

Fantasy Boy Draft
Andrea was watching One Tree Hill last week when she thought, “WE [Playing the Field] should have a Fantasy Boy Draft too!” She wanted to include “real” guys as well as famous ones, but was vetoed by Fenella because she “hates all [real] guys that aren’t related to [her]” (by blood, she is required to love her brothers).

So here are our picks for Round One of our Fantasy Boy Draft, and to all you guys out there, please prove to her that there is SOME shred of humanity left in this world! (Fenella scoffs and says, “ha, good luck on that one”)

ROUND 1

1. Tom Brady. Need we say more? We’d be Identity Theft Assistance for him any day ;)

2. Emeka Okafor. This Charlotte Bobcat has the three B’s: Brains, Brawn, and Booty. Who graduates from a major university in three years, with honors, leads him team to the NCAA championship, AND is hot?!

3. Matt Leinart. Because, as Fenella is quick to point out, he’s the Heisman Trophy-winning, two-time (soon to be three) national champion QB of the best team in college football. And he’s not bad-looking either.

4. David Beckham. Oh those skills…and those legs…and that bum. As long as we don’t hear him speak – he sounds like a Kindergartener. Fingerpainting anyone?

5. Tiger Woods. When Andrea was in high school, she used to call herself Mrs. Andrea Woods-Richardson (because she was gonna marry Tiger and Kevin from the Backstreet Boys).

6. Stat Boy from PTI, also known as Around the Horn moderator Tony Reali. Because a guy who can correct the two greatest sports journalists EVER (Washington’s own Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon) on a regular basis scores extra points with us! Dreamy…

7. J.J. Reddick. ACC – WHAT?!

8. Nathan Scott (James Lafferty) from OTH. Included on the list because A) he plays basketball on this teen primetime drama; B) Said drama is the inspiration of this draft; C) Boy is FINE….Why did Haley leave him? WHY?!

9. Michael Owen. The other soccer hottie mctottie from the UK. Don’t you just wanna pinch his cheeks?! The ones on his face, you sickos!

10. Andy Roddick. We don’t know much about tennis (other than he’s really good), or about him (other than he’s really hot). In the words of ex Mandy Moore, “I wanna be with you!”