The Curse of Tom Cruise, mmm.VIKINGS... (And other musings)

We know we promised we wouldn’t go away for so long again….but sports sucked for awhile, so we didn’t feel inspired to write anything. Thankfully, though, fall is here, sports are back and so are we, baby!

The Pigskin
Final score: Minnesota Vikings 19, Washington 16. Not even wings, nachos, and alcohol can console our woes. Oh Al Saunders, are you REALLY worth the $2 million dollars? Laces out, John Hall! (Hall got cut from the JETS – the JETS, people. Shouldn’t that tell you something?) And Dan Snyder, we ALL know you have a man-crush on Tom Cruise! Ok, so the Redskins lost. To a bunch of man whores. Which actually should not be a surprise considering Head Coach Joe Gibbs has never won a Monday Night Football game that opened the season. Good news is, he’s 2-1 in every game after that. Let’s just hope that Clinton Portis’ shoulder holds up, Brunell looks like the Brunell circa early Jacksonville era, and Gregg Williams continues to work his g-g-g-genius on the Redskins’ D. We’ll forgive you IF you beat Dallas next week on Sunday Night Football.

In other NFL news, Tom Brady and company (they are on a mission) came back to beat Buffalo, the Steelers began everyone’s season with a W against Miami (after Diddy’s lame musical performance), Reggie done good and helped the Saints earn a win, and elder brother/comedic genius Peyton triumphed over little brother Eli in the Manning Bowl. And some other teams won and lost too, but frankly we’re lazy and really don’t care about them.

College Football
Well, now that Matt, Reggie and basically all the good players from USC are gone, what’s the point in watching anymore? Oh right. Well WR Dwayne Jarrett is still there. And John David Booty – in the shadow of Leinart for the last few years – stepped into the spotlight and actually looked pretty good in their win over Arkansas. This weekend, they host the Nebraska Cornhuskers (wtf mascot is that?) in their home opener…and Trojan fans can’t wait!

And yes, we know there are other teams in college football besides USC…such as Ohio State, Texas (those bastards!), and the Fighting Irish. And that’s all we have to say about that. Hey – at least we admitted they were good! (You have to let us slowly ease back into this, we’re a bit rusty.)