There's No Overarching Theme

Wizards’ Magical Play Defeats Boston Celtics
Our beloved Wiz defeated the NBA Powerhouse Boston Celtics, not once but TWICE in three days, giving the Celts their 2nd loss in 3 games AND their first two game losing streak of the season. They were total legit wins too – Boston played with super trio KG, Ray Allen and Paul Pierce and we were still without Agent Zero. DeShaun Stevenson (uh…who?) led the team to victory on Saturday night while the highest-scoring tandem in the NBA Antawn Jamison & Caron Butler helped the team to a come-from-behind W in Boston’s home court Monday night. We think the Wizards’ secret to success is their hideously awesome away jerseys. Gilbert must’ve designed those golden babies himself. Resembling Las Vegas showgirls seems to provide good distraction to the opposing team.

Anyways, We Rule. Except when we lost to the New York Knicks shortly after. Maybe it’s time for a jersey redesign…

A Giant Win for New York
Yawn -- Manning’s in the divisional championship game again. Oh wait a minute. That’s not Peyton, it’s Eli! The Giants continued their improbable playoff run by beating the top-seeded Dallas Cowboys, 21-17. Can Eli win on the road again? We’ll find out Sunday when he travels to a cold and snowy Green Bay for the NFC title game.

Meanwhile, Tony Romo is off to cry in the boobs of Jessica Simpson, while T.O. cries in front of the cameras. Always had good relationships with your QBs, ey? Don’t know if Donovon would agree. Wethinks T.O. has a kind of “special” relationship with T.R. Suspiciously fruity!

Charge!
The San Diego Chargers upset Peyton Manning and the Colts at home, 28-24 and are next in line to face the mighty Pats. For shame on the Colts for allowing back-ups Billy Volek and Michael Turner (no, we don’t know who they are either) to put together an impressive 4th quarter scoring drive. Way to defend that Super Bowl, champs! Perhaps the Colts could use some of Peyton Manning’s pep talks. Perhaps Peyton could use some himself….While we’re on the subject of good advice, maybe Philip Rivers could get some style tips from Tom Brady on post-game dress. The man always looks impeccable.

http://www.chargers.com/fan_zone/media_vault/press-conference-video.htm

http://iamyourmom.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/tom.jpg

Packers put Seahawks at “Bay”
The Packers had no problem defeating the Seattle Seahawks in snowy Green Bay on Saturday, 42-20. Brett Favre totally doesn’t look like a man approaching middle-agedness and who knew GB had such a strong running game with Ryan Grant. Are they Super Bowl-bound?

17-0
The Jags gave a valiant effort, but Tom Brady and the Pats continue to be perfect, err…almost perfect. NFL’s Man of the Year went 26 for 28 passing in a 31-20 win over Jacksonville, bringing the Pats two games closer to a perfect season. What more do we have to say about them?

Marion Jones Caught Off Track
The former Olympian is now Jonesin’ for something OTHER than an orange jumpsuit, as she was sentenced to six months in prison for lying to a grand jury about taking performance-enhancing drugs. It’s sad, but we’re not surprised.