2-2 = 700-page Playbook Finally Coming Together?

Why is Al Saunders the second-coming of Herman Melville?
After a rocky preseason and a 1-2 start, the hype that surrounded the Redskins started turning into hysteria. Sure, Washington won a game last week and Brunell set an NFL record by completing his first 22 passes…but it was against the TEXANS. A team consisting of us, Mickey Rooney, and eight Ooompa Loompas could play the Texans and win (but not one consisting of Daunte Culpepper and some guy named Ronnie Brown – haha!). Brunell, Portis et al must’ve been studying that 700-page playbook very hard, and we give them props. Like, we did okay on our SATs, we graduated from college, got a couple Masters degrees …but memorizing a 700-page playbook is just beyond our comprehension. How does Clinton Portis do it?

Anyways. A victory over the talented Jacksonville Jaguars would begin to prove that the new offense, the free agency signings might be worth Dan Snyder not buying another Six Flags theme park, or sponsoring another Scientology actor’s production company. And they did it in an exciting 36-30 Overtime fashion. The Defense gave Jags QB Byron Leftwich (who played in DC in high school) a hard time with four sacks, and Brunell’s game-ending pass to Santana Moss sent the fans at FedEx Field into a frenzy. Do we smell Super Bowl? Or is it just Andrea’s Ritz Bits Cheese Sandwiches…

Brett Favre, What are You Doing?!
Brett, we like you. Really, we do. We think you’re a GREAT player. You’ve proven yourself time and again. You’ve had phenomenal games, and you’ve won the Super Bowl. AND you’re a nice guy. But geeze, man, what are you still doing here? We know you love the game. But face reality: You’ve gotten man-handled all season, and the loss to the Philadelphia Eagles at the Linc didn’t help you any. Retire now! Before your life leads to a list of really bad cameo appearances that ruin really great movies, like There’s Something About Mary. Go out on top while you can. Oh wait…it’s too late.

T.O. Rhymes with B.O.
Something is stinky in Dallas, and according to Terrell Owens’ publicist, it isn’t his painkillers! Who knows if he really tried to kill himself. What we DO know is that he’s a moody, attention-seeking SOB. And really, we don’t blame him for trying to harm himself. I mean, wouldn’t YOU want to die if you woke up and realized you were TO? (Is that too harsh?) If we owned an NFL franchise, we wouldn’t touch him with a 10 foot pole. On our to do list: How to Raise $500 million to purchase a NFC franchise…

More Baseball Stuff We Don’t Really Know About
It’s now the post-season for America’s Favorite Past time. Um, eight teams are playing in four games today. They aren’t anyone we like. That is all.

Unstoppable
Tiger Woods has won six consecutive times. In College Football (Division I-A style) this is the norm. But Tiger plays GOLF. He goes up against, like, 100+ other people every week. The odds of him winning, let alone six times in a row is…math we can’t do on our two hands!

Rare Air
NBA season hasn’t started yet, but we figured we’d mention something because we love our superstar Gilbert Arenas so. He’s so awesomely…WEIRD. First, he admits he played online poker at halftime. Then he said he was going to score 100 points each against Portland & Phoenix, to exact revenge from cutting him from USA Basketball. (Actually, Gilbert, it’s a good thing you weren’t there, or you would’ve been way embarrassed.) NOW he’s converting the air in his house in DC to Colorado altitude. He says it’ll help him in the fourth quarter, when everyone’s out of gas, he’ll be breathing just fine, thank you. Maybe we should do that. Fenella’s soccer coach just makes her run 2 miles, sprint, and run 2 miles again, 3 times a week…which hasn’t done her a bit of good. Crazy Gilbert, let’s hope it works!

Trojans. No, not that kind you sicko!
College Football. USC won. Barely, but they won. They remain undefeated and #3 in the nation. That’s all that really matters. =)